I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, 'I am not a crook.' Jimmy Carter says, 'I have lusted after women in my heart.' President Reagan says, 'I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.
Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.
When it came to writing about wine, I did what almost everybody does - faked it