A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first.
The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.
Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
I managed my life to the point that at age 19 I was still in high school. I decided I was too old to be walking down those hallways.
Things from real life are the things that get people laughing.
Nobody asked you to flip burgers for the rest of your life.