I let my mind wander and it didn't come back.
Buttons ... check. Dials ... check. Switches ... check. Little colored lights ... check.
We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.
I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.
If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
Leader, bandits at 2 o'clock! Roger; it's only 1:30 now-what'll I do 'til then?
You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!
God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.
Reality continues to ruin my life.
The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
You should stick with what you enjoy, what you find funny -- that's the humor that will be the strongest, and that will transmit itself. Rather then trying to find out what the latest trend is, you should draw what is personally interesting.
The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do we drink *cow* milk?? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!? - Calvin and Hobbes
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.
Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.