Gary Chapman Quotations

I think that in today's world, by nature, we are all self-centered. And that often leads to selfishness.

I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years and I realized that what makes one person feel loved, doesn't make another person feel loved.

I think people desperately want to feel love.

Love is reaching out to try to get to the other person.

Many kids don't fit that mold of the high school setting and they need a lot of additional support or just a different way of learning.

I don't apologize for what we do here. I just wish we could do more, that we had better results.

Because of the way we run the school and the wavers we have through the charter school process, we can give them credit, they can catch up and graduate on time.

I feel like I'm a South Bay guy and this may sound humble, but I almost feel like a west-side South Bay guy.

The demographic of rugby is very much a target for our business because they have a high income. We have aspirations of being a global brand and rugby is a major contributor.

This team accomplished much more than anyone, including me, expected. They overcame adversity and lots of youthfulness and did a fantastic job.

We're going to be patient on offense again and work it around. If we have the ball, they can't score. We just have to control the tempo.

We went out and competed against a strong and experienced Hobbs team. I'm very proud of our effort tonight; we had some players step in and do the best they could.

Our shooting wasn't there tonight. The first quarter turnovers hurt us, and Hobbs' hot shooting got us too deep in the hole.

Anything she can do to work on her game is obviously good.

They start at the very beginning. The whole account of Adam and Eve is a very romantic picture. I'm also thinking about Samson. That's a really unique picture. He went down to this land and saw this lady and got what I call 'the tingles.' In that culture the parents worked out the details. I think that the phenomenon in that initial attraction is seen throughout human history.

They receive credit not necessarily because of the number of days they're here, but the mastery of their learning.

It will be an uphill battle, but we've been fighting an uphill battle for the last three weeks. So far we've succeeded.

They have to have end of course testing just like at the traditional high school as well as pass the Georgia high school graduation test to get their diploma.

At the end of the game, we had it just where we wanted to. The play was executed perfectly and we got a good look at the end.

I had no ambitions to go anywhere else or be anything else.

Gifts need not be expensive; after all, "it's the thuoght that counts." But I remind you, it is not the thought left in your head that counts; it is the gift that came out of the thought that communicates emotional love.

Another reality about relationships is that they are never static. All of us experience changes in relationships but a few stop to analyse why a relationship gets better or worse.

Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don't speak a person's primary love language, that person will not feel loved, even though you may be speaking the other four. Once you are speaking his or her primary love language fluently, then you can sprinkle in the other four and they will be like icing on the cake.

Physician Albert Scheweitzer said. " We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness." Professor Leo Buscaglia notes, "There seems to be accumulating evidence that there is actually an inborn need for this togetherness, this human interaction, this love. It seems that without these close ties with other human beings, a new born infant, for example, can regress developmentally, lose consciousness, fall into idiocy and die.

Good marriages are built upon a combination of emotional love and a common commitment to a core of beliefs about what is important in life and what we wish to do with our lives. Speaking each other's primary love language creates the emotional climate where these beliefs can be fleshed out in daily life.

Love is the fundamental building block of all human relationships. It will greatly impact our values and morals. Love is the important ingredient in one’s search for meaning.

We fail to reckon with the reality of human nature. By nature,we are egocentric. Our world revolves around us. None of us is totally altruistic.

Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is considered the cruelest of punishments.

The in-love experience does not focus on our own growth or on the growth and development of the other person. Rather, it gives us the sense that we have arrived and that we do not need further growth.

I would encourage you to make your own investigation of the one whom, as He died, prayed for those who killed Him: 'Father forgive them for they know not what they do.' That is love's ultimate expression.

A child may be "spoiled" by a lack of training or by inappropriate love that gives or trains incorrectly.

Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment.

Sex is the joining of two bodies; love is the joining of two souls.

Others who openly discuss matters of spirituality often ignore the warning signs. They are so in love with each other, enjoy being with each other, and can see themselves making each other happy for the rest of their lives, and they close their eyes to huge differences in their views of spirituality.

Most people spend far more time in preparation for their vocation than they do in preparation for marriage.

A soft answer turns away anger.

We cannot erase the past, but we can accept it as history.

Expressing love in the right language. We tend to speak our own love language, to express love to others in a language that would make us feel loved. But if it is not his/her primary love language, it will not mean to them what it would mean to us.

Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty LOVE TANK.

In marriage it is never having my own way. It is rather discovering our way.

The one who chooses to love will find appropriate ways to express that decision everyday.

Once you identify and learn to speak your spouse’s primary love language, I believe that you will have discovered the key to a long-lasting, loving marriage. Love need not evaporate after the wedding, but in order to keep it alive most of us will have to put forth effort to learn a secondary love language. We cannot rely on our native tongue if our spouse does not understand it. If we want them to feel the love we are trying to communicate, we must express it in his or her primary love language.

Our spouse will usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use.

We cannot rely on our native tongue if our spouse does not understand it. If we want them to feel the love we are trying to communicate, we must express it in his or her primary love language.

At the heart of mankind's existence is the desire to be intimate and to be loved by another. Marriage is designed to meet that need for intimacy and love.

What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.

Recent research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting and interjecting his own ideas.

The person who is "in-love" has the ilusion that his beloved is perfect.

I think the tingles are important. They are real, and I am in favor of their survival. But they are not the basis for a satisfactory marriage. I am not suggesting that on should marry without the tingles. Those warm, excited feelings, the chill bumps, that sense of acceptance, the excitement of the touch that make up the tingles serve as the cherry on top of the sundae. But you cannot have a sundae with only the cherry.

Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other.

Love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.

Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.

Isolation is devastating to the human psyche.

The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.

You cannot force someone to accept an expression of love. You can only offer it. If it is not accepted, you must respect the other person's decision.

All of us blossom when we feel loved and wither when we do not feel loved.

Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, "I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?" We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise.

Ask yourself: Does the action I am considering have any potential for dealing with the wrong and helping the relationship? And is it best for the person at whom I am angry? The two most constructive options are either to confront the person in a helpful way, or to consciously decide to overlook the matter.

Nobody has the power to make you miserable . . . unless you choose to give them that power. Choose to enjoy every drop of today!

We are trained to analyze problems and create solutions. We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve.

Life's deepest meaning is not found in accomplishments , but in relationships

I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures of yesterday and in so doing, they pollute a potentially wonderful day.

What we dislike in others is often a weakness in our own lives.

Inside every child is an 'emotional rani's waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty 'love tank

I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday.

Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage.

Love makes requests, not demands.

Empathetic listening is an awesome medication for the hurting heart.

For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse desert sands, and endure untold hardships. Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable, and hardships our lot in life.

Before I discovered the concept of the 5 love languages, a bit of advice I was given was to become a student of my wife and to take time to learn what makes her feel loved. I soon learned that what makes her feel loved may not always be the thing I want to do because it may not come natural to me. But learning to love her in the way that makes her feel loved is a greater demonstration of my love for her, because I've chosen to do it with a goal of pleasing her.

When people respond too quickly, they often respond to the wrong issue. Listening helps us focus on the heart of the conflict. When we listen, understand, and respect each other's ideas, we can then find a solution in which both of us are winners.

If we are to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other's desires. If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants.

Togetherness has to do with focused attention. It is giving someone your undivided attention. As humans, we have a fundamental desire to connect with others. We may be in the presence of people all day long, but we do not always feel connected.

Each person has the potential of making a positive impact on the world. It all depends on what you do with what you have. Success is not to be measured by the amount of money you possess or the position you attain but rather in how you use both. Position and money can be squandered or abused, but they can also be used to help others.

Lack of love from parents often motivates their children to go searching for love in other relationships. This search is often misguided and leads to further disappointment.

Real love" - "This kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.

Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself.

Conflicts are not a sign you've married the wrong person. They simply affirm you are human.

The decision to get married will impact one's life more deeply than almost any decision in life. Yet people continue to rush into marriage with little or no preparation for making a marriage successful. In fact, many couples give far more attention to making plans for the wedding than making plans for marriage. The wedding festivities last only a few hours, while the marriage, we hope, will last for a lifetime

Don't be a victim of the urgent. In the long run, much of what seems so pressing right now won't even matter. What you do with your children will matter forever.

Love doesn't keep a score of wrongs. Love doesn't bring up past failures. (1 Cor 13:5)

People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.

What is emotional intimacy? It is that depp sense of being connected to one another. It is feeling loved, respected and appreciated, while at the same time seeking to reciprocate. To feel loved is to have the sense that the other person genuinely cares about your well-being. Respect has to do with feeling that your potential spouse has positive regard for your personhood, intellect, abilities and personality. Appreciation is that inner sense that your partner values your contribution to the relationship.

True love cannot begin until the "in love" experience has run it's course.

Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.

Love is a choice you make everyday.

..there is hope. That's the marvelous thing about being human. We can change our future. We need not be enslaved by the experiences of the past. We can learn to love even when we have not received love.

Remember that your ultimate goal is for your children to grow up secure in your love, strong in their faith, and with sound character.

Respect begins with this attitude: "I acknowledge that you are a creature of extreme worth. God has endowed you with certain abilities and emotions. Therefore I respect you as a person. I will not desecrate your worth by making critical remarks about your intellect, your judgment or your logic. I will seek to understand you and grant you the freedom to think differently from the way I think and to experience emotions that I may not experience." Respect means that you give the other person the freedom to be an individual.

Marriages are always moving from one season to another. Sometimes we find ourselves in winter--discouraged, detached, and dissatisfied; other times we experience springtime, with its openness, hope, and anticipation. On still other occasions we bask in the warmth of summer--comfortable, relaxed, enjoying life. And then comes fall with its uncertainty, negligence, and apprehension. The cycle repeats itself many times throughout the life of a marriage, just as the seasons repeat themselves in nature.

Love doesn't erase the past, but it makes the future different.

Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.

People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.