Jerry Stiller Quotations

I still haven't hit what I do best yet.

Anne is very forgiving. She doesn't care about money, being rich, or clothes. We never argued about finances.

Anne hated the idea of putting me down in front of the audience.

Would you go to see a brilliant actor who's been framed for something that he didn't do, and put him on a stage and say he's going to do Hamlet for you, and why don't you enjoy it? That's a hell of an analogy, but it's about the same thing.

Hollywood never knew there was a Vietnam War until they made the movie.

I ask myself why I do it [work]. Maybe it's to prove I'm still around. It takes a lot out of my body. I'm not an NBA player anymore. At my age, very few people can handle it.

The worst thing in this business is to be thought of as a no-talent.

I've been around the block a lot and I've had a merry trail for 55 years.

My father and mother. I figured if I could make them laugh, they'd stop fighting. I stole all their material.

Some of the routines come back very easily. We do it off the top of our heads

Never go for the punch line. There might be something funnier on the way

We managed to hang in there. Today when people get married there's a tendency to run away when things get tough. There is a lot of strength in hanging together

Creative comedy is like growing geraniums in a mine field

I don't think my judgment is that good. I don't know what is funny

It can make you sad to look at pictures from your youth. So there's a trick to it. The trick is not to look at the later pictures

Being on a sitcom stops me from getting Alzheimer's

I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.

I shave without using shaving cream

I loved the idea of touching base with an audience.

During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one.

We are even better looking on the small screen

I ask myself why I do it. Maybe it's to prove I'm still around. It takes a lot out of my body. I'm not an NBA player anymore. At my age, very few people can handle it.

I don't let my feelings out. The audience brings out the part of me that wants to be funny. Maybe I want to be like that very deep down.