Phyllis Diller Sloth Quotations

Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles.

Your husband is lazy if coffee doesn't keep him awake - even when it's hot and being spilled on him.

Once Fang took pep pills and they worked - the only time he ever ran to bed.

Everybody knows how much time Fang spends in bed. A local store that gives a 30 days' trial on mattresses gives Fang only 15 days.

I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, "You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed."

Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.

When he proposed he said, "We'll make such beautiful music together," but in this duet, his part seems to be all rests.