Hum Quotations | Page 5

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.

In the end, everything is a gag.

I have no further use for America. I wouldn't go back there if Jesus Christ was President.

I remain just one thing, and one thing only, and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician.

To help a friend in need is easy, but to give him your time is not always opportune.

Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself.

Humanity lives and always has lived on certain elemental provisions.