Nuts Quotations | Page 4

Don't touch my junk, you airport security goon--my package belongs to no one but me, and do you really think I'm a Nigerian nut job preparing for my 72-virgin orgy by blowing my johnson to kingdom come?

You try, you seem totally nuts, you go underground.

There are two ways to look at my publishing career. One is that I'm a novelist churning out books, who is eight into a series; the other way is that I'm a cartoonist, just starting out. Most cartoonists have long careers: Charles Schulz drew Peanuts for 50 years.

We'd go to the fraternity house. It was a good place to practice. But we really wanted the kids to overhear us. And whoever heard us would go nuts over it.

In America you're conditioned to regard everything as a contest. You have to make the Ten Best Dressed List, win this, win that. It drives me nuts sometimes. Who cares, for Christ's sake?

The thing I told Rod is that I would have hated to have to try and coach him. He just didn't listen, but that's how talented he was. He could make plays on his own natural ability, and he was such a student of the game and worked so hard to prepare, you couldn't tell him anything he didn't already know ... or think he knew. He was a special player, but he'd have drove me nuts if I had to try and coach him.

If Vin Scully calling a game is just as good in 2013 as he was in 1963, that's the way a game should sound. If Jack Buck were around today, I don't think anybody would ask him to change his style. My style has always been a little bit of a combination of old and new, if only because my frame of reference, personally, was different than that of Ernie Harwell or Jack Buck or Harry Caray. I was a younger guy. Just as Joe Buck's frame of reference is somewhat different from mine. But the nuts and bolts of how to call a ballgame well, I think remain the same.

What Strauss is going through drives you nuts. If you care about your batting - which I'm sure he does - he will feel like jumping off a bridge and committing suicide

Drummers haven't managed to develop their individuality quite as well as guitarists have. We can be so focused on the nuts and bolts that we overlook the importance of individuality - the broader picture, if you will.

Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health nut. The plot thickens.