Allan Sherman Quotations

I have always lived beyond my means. I am still trying to live beyond my means, but it is getting harder all the time. I am very rich.

Well, you might as well imitate your own program because if you don't, someone else will.

Our act started at the bottom and went downhill.

It's a play where something went wrong, 'Cause it's five hours, twelve minutes long. If you sit there, my friend, From beginning 'til end, Then your bladder better be strong!

I was having trouble making ends meet, and my beginnings weren't meeting either.

When the great history of trouble is written, my family will stand extremely high in the table of contents.

I didn't decide I was crazy until 1952. That's when I began making a steady salary and could afford to be crazy.

Somewhere, over the rainbow, Way up tall, There's a land where they've never heard of cholesterol.

Even if Scrabble had been invented then, I wouldn't have wanted to play Scrabble, because the highest triple word score in the world would not have expressed how much I liked the game Natalie and I played every afternoon.

In Hollywood, we have some of the richest unemployed people in the world. They have sun tans. Some of them have chauffeurs in Rolls-Royces waiting outside. They have their golf clubs ready in the car. There is no law that says you cannot play golf while being unemployed.