Arthur Baer Quotations

Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.

A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.

It is impossible to tell where the law stops and justice begins.

A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.

A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.

If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they print only your thumbs.

It was so quiet, you could hear a pun drop.

It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of the rope.

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.

Lefty Grove could throw a lamb chop past a wolf.

The ladies looked one another over with microscopic carelessness

If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end.

She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on.

She's generous to a fault - if it's her own.

His head was full of larceny, but his feet were honest.

If you demand money from someone in exchange for your silence, it's called 'blackmail'. If your lawyer demands money from someone in exchange for your silence, it's called a settlement. If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they print only your thumbs.

Liquor - you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular.

About a veteran player thrown out trying to steal second: There was larceny in his heart, but his legs were honest.

[History is] petrified imagination.

You can always judge a man by what he eats, and therefore a country in which there is no free lunch is no longer a free country.

An empty cab drove up and Sarah Bernhardt got out.