Ben Schwartz Quotations

'The Simpsons' is still my favorite show. I have a really strong connection to it.

It's funny: I put money into short films, and I put really good actors in it, and I write some stuff that's really funny, and I'll get, like, a million views. But to the right of me, there will be a video of a kitten that falls into a toilet bowl, and it's three seconds long, and it will get 25 million views.

At the very beginning, I was a page at Letterman, and I freelanced for any place that would let me write any word. I wanted to do this so badly.

I love video games. When I was growing up, video games were very important to me.

I think it's always super exciting to watch something before you can see it in theaters.

The perfect thing for me is to be on something I love, where I'm doing it and have enough money not to be poor, and I'm allowed to go on vacation.

When I do the roles, when I'm in the room and auditioning, I'll ask the director if they're cool with me adding stuff, or just improvising while we're doing it. And I would say, like, 90 percent of the time, they say, 'Absolutely.'

I love doing comedy. One of my favorite things in the world is to do 'Parks and Recreation'; a big fun character.

I did a lot of short films online, so I come from that background where a lot of people see your stuff.

I hope I don't get driven to the point where, to be honest, I'm never satisfied. I hope there's some part of me that can be content.

I love just working. I love the idea of being a working class citizen.

I never went to acting school, so improv was my training. Just being quick on your feet helps in everyday life.

I really like the stuff that Showtime puts out. I think that 'Homeland' is phenomenal. I think 'Dexter' is amazing.

Taking improv has helped every other aspect of my field.

A lot of the time, you're supposed to play to the top of your intelligence, as truthful as possible. But when you're on stage making people laugh, you're still acting. I think it helped me a bunch to go on stage two or three times a week.

I really was interested in doing something for a premium channel like Showtime or HBO, just because you get to really let loose. I think they let their storylines go wherever they want, and it's really a special place to work.

If I play a video game, I have to get through the whole thing. Like, when the new 'Resident Evil' comes out, I have to sit and do the whole thing. It will consume my life. I'm at a point where I don't have much time to play around anymore, so I don't really get started on the games if I won't be able to finish them.

Live-action is more fun for me, because you're acting with people. When you do voice-acting, many times you're not even in the room with the person that you're acting with.

When I was coming up in high school, if you wanted to be in the musical it was during the winter, so I had to choose between playing basketball or being in the musical. And I ended up playing basketball.

When I first graduated college, I told my parents I'd try to pursue comedy for the first year or two, and if it didn't work out, I'd put my nose to the grindstone and try to find a job somehow. I went to UCB, and it clicked with me.

When I got a tiny bit of success, I was petrified that I was going to lose it. I still feel it.

The anxiety of not knowing what my next gig is keeps me hungry.

It's so fun to play a character that has so many layers that people won't even know, until the next season.

I love the idea of doing totally different types of guys for different projects. I love that I get to do this. It's so fun.

I've never done a show for more than one season, in my entire life.

When you're acting on TV, you want to keep it real.

I was very, very into animation when I was growing up. The Simpsons is still my favorite show. I have a really strong connection to it.

Eight hours of sleep would be amazing. That would be the best. If I could just figure out that part of my life, it would be great.

A lot of the time, youre supposed to play to the top of your intelligence, as truthful as possible. But when youre on stage making people laugh, youre still acting. I think it helped me a bunch to go on stage two or three times a week.

I love doing comedy. One of my favorite things in the world is to do Parks and Recreation; a big fun character.

We just went out there and swam, did a good job. Pumps everybody up. We still have two relay races tomorrow. I?m ready for it.

Tell me it's wrong to call up Steve Pederson's house at three in the morning, breathe heavily into the phone and then whisper, 'I'm going to kill your children.

Tell me it's wrong to call up Steve Pederson's house at 3 in the morning, breathe heavily into the phone and then whisper, 'I'm going to kill your children.

I have to give the credit to Mr. Volpe at the announcer?s table, he makes me laugh, gives me nicknames, says something different every time I go up. That loosens me up and I don?t even think about it.

By this time we're all on equal footing; we understand each other and know each other. It makes for better relationships and better music.

I don't think they thought I was a threat to Steve Pederson. They thought someone would read my column and be inspired to hurt his kids.