Bob Uecker Quotations

The biggest thrill a ballplayer can have is when your son takes after you. That happened when my Bobby was in his championship Little League game. He really showed me something. Struck out three times. Made an error that lost the game. Parents were throwing things at our car and swearing at us as we drove off. Gosh, I was proud.

You know, I was once named Minor League Player of the Year... unfortunately, I had been in the majors for two years at the time.

I hope the fans have enjoyed listening as much as I've enjoyed doing the games. I don't ever go to the park where I don't have a good day. I don't like losing. But I don't think I ever go to the park where I have a bad day. I don't think once.

Baseball hasn't forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven't lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times.

I had been playing for a while, and I asked Louisville Slugger to send me a dozen flame treated bats. But when I got it, I realized they had sent me a box of ashes.

When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team's dugout and they were already in street clothes.

Not bragging by any means, but I could have done a lot of other stuff as far as working in films go and working in television... I had chances to do that stuff, but I like baseball, I really do.

In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the bigs.

Hey, I think it's easy for guys to hit .300 and stay in the big leagues. Hit .200 and try to stick around as long as I did; I think it's a much greater accomplishment. That's hard.

Where would I be without baseball? Who am I without baseball?

I make fun of situations and try and find the humor in things, but it's never at the expense of the other guy.

If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.

I didn't get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly.

On TV the people can see it. On radio you've got to create it.

People have asked me a lot of times, because I didn't hit a lot, how long a dozen bats would last me. Depending on the weight and model I was using at that time - I would say eight to 10 cookouts.

Let's face it. Umpiring is not an easy or happy way to make a living. In the abuse they suffer, and the pay they get for it, you see an imbalance that can only be explained by their need to stay close to a game they can't resist.

The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up.

I just grew the hair on my back. Facial hair just wasn't appealing to me. I liked it on my back, though.

Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products.

I set records that will never be equaled. In fact, I hope 90% of them don't even get printed.

I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture.

Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat.

I had slumps that lasted into the winter.

Career highlights? I had two - I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.

I had a great shoe contract and glove contract with a company who paid me a lot of money never to be seen using their stuff.

I spent three of the best years of my life in 10th grade.

Sure, women sportswriters look when they're in the clubhouse. Read their stories. How else do you explain a capital letter in the middle of a word?

When I looked at the third base coach, he turned his back on me.

Any teammate of mine that had a kid and a boy that was capable of playing baseball, I think I set a terrific example of 'Don't do this' and 'Don't do that.' And that's one of the things that I'm most proud of.

We were on for six years. We were in syndication for a while. It had its run. I still see the people from 'Mr. Belvedere,' too. We stay in touch.

Phil Niekro and his brother were pitching against each other in Atlanta. Their parents were sitting right behind home plate. I saw their folks more that day than they did the whole weekend.

Before broadcasting for 50-some years, I did TV, played 10 years in the big leagues, won a world championship - and played a big part in that, too, letting the Cardinals inject me with hepatitis. Takes a big man to do that.

I used to soak my mitts in a bucket of water for about two days. Then I'd put a couple of baseballs in the pocket and wrap it up with a rubber band. Today you don't have to do that, because catchers' mitts are more like first baseman's gloves.

I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel's suitcase.

How do you catch a knuckleball? You wait until it stops rolling, then go pick it up.

I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career - anything for a laugh.

I was acting when I was playing baseball.

You throw batting practice, you warm up pitchers, you sit and cheer. You do whatever you have to do to stay on the team.

After getting out of the service and going into baseball I never wanted to do anything else.

Anyone with talent can play in the Major Leagues; for someone like me to stay around as long as I did, I think that's a much greater acheivement.

My kids used to do things to aggravate me, too. I'd take them to a game, and they'd want to come home with a different player.

I would order a dozen bats and there were times they'd come back with handles at each end.

I think my top salary was maybe in 1966. I made $17,000 and 11 of that came from selling other players' equipment.

I had a .200 lifetime batting average in the major leagues, which tied me with another sports great averaging 200 or better for a ten-year period: Don Carter, one of our top bowlers.

The highlight of my baseball career came in Philadelphia's Connie Mack Stadium when I saw a fan fall out of the upper deck. When he got up and walked away, the crowd booed.

I signed a very modest $3,000 bonus with the Braves in Milwaukee. And my old man didn't have that kinda money to put out.

Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. To last as long as I did with the skills I had, with the numbers I produced, was a triumph of the human spirit.

You know, I was once named Minor League Player of the Year...unfortunately, I had been in the majors for two years at the time.

They broke it to me gently. The manager came up to me before a game and told me they didn't allow visitors in the clubhouse.

People don't know this, but I helped the Cardinals win the pennant. I came down with hepatitis. The trainer injected me with it!

When I played baseball I got death threats all the time--from my mother.

They have Easter egg hunts in Philadelphia, and if the kids don't find the eggs, they get booed.

I led the league in go get 'em next time.

Between me and my roommate, we've hit 400 Major League home runs.

I remember one time I'm batting against the Dodgers in Milwaukee. They lead, 2 - 1, it's the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, two out and the pitcher has a full count on me. I look over to the Dodger dugout and they're all in street clothes.

Of course I do, Howie. If you had a truck and you gave it to me, that would be a truck-you-lent.

One time, I got pulled over at four AM. I was fined seventy-five dollars for being intoxicated and four-hundred for being with the Phillies.

I didn't get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a

Career highlights? I had two. I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.

We noticed he missed a few games. Turns out he had heart surgery.

We're like a family. When someone is gone for a few games, we wonder what's happened to them.

You get a little wood carving knife in case you want to alter them,

I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for three-thousand dollars. That bothered my dad at the time because he didn't have that kind of dough. But he eventually scraped it up.

I signed a very modest $3,000 bonus with the Braves in Milwaukee. And my old man didn't have that kinda money to put out.

People don't know this but I helped the Cardinals win the pennant. I came down with hepatitis. The trainer injected me with it.

The MRI scan looked like I had swallowed a cantaloupe. It was an abdominal aortic aneurysm. I was shocked because, except for the back pain, I felt good.

That's not a bad rap on players today. Everything in the game has changed.

The night has been splendid. I can think of no place else I would rather be as a player, as a broadcaster, or as a citizen than right here in Milwaukee.

It's been great. I'd like to do this again 50 years from now when I get to 100. Wherever I am, dig me up. Bring me back here. A couple times around the warning track and take me back to the hole where you picked me up.

In those days, your contract for the next year was based on your innings pitched.

I think my top salary was maybe in 1966. I made $17,000 and 11 of that came from selling other players' equipment.

He's what, 38 years old? But he's still there, man. He's still got that same swing. He's got pop. You make a mistake on that guy, he's going to stink you. I mean, he's going to hurt you.

The highlight of my career? In '67 with St. Louis, I walked with the bases loaded to drive in the winning run in an inter-squad game in spring training.