Irvin S. Cobb Quotations

Middle age: when you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms.

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.

As I understand it, sport is hard work for which you do not get paid.

An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that have been permanently discontinued.

Men are vain; but they won't mind women working so long as they get smaller wages for the same job.

A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.

If a woman likes another woman, she's cordial. If she doesn't like her, she's very cordial.

You had to hate the Colonel a whole lot to keep from loving him.

Golf - a young man's vice and an old man's penance.