Jeremy Hardy Quotations

The only way you can ever accuse a Conservative of hypocrisy is if they walk past a homeless person without kicking him in the face.

The need to compile lists is a personality disorder, as is the need to assert the superiority of some things over other things.

Capitalism is a great idea in theory, but in practice it just doesn't work.

You can inherit male-pattern baldness from your mother's father, but not a tendency to fight in the First World War.

If you just took everyone in the BNP and everyone who votes for them and shot them in the back of the head, there would be a brighter future for us all.

Northern Ireland is part of Ireland, not Britain, as can clearly be seen from aerial photographs.

Why don't people just accept that life is sad and cheer up? After all, it's not going to last for ever.

The Afghan War has clearly reached a stage similar to that moment at your child's party where you realise you've forgotten to give the other parents a pick up time.

Most harm is done by people who are awake.

The thing that interests me most about family history is the gap between the things we think we know about our families and the realities.