Marty Feldman Quotations

I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.

Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.

He made us laugh, he took my pain away. I love you, Lauretta.

I don't want to be a director. I want to direct. There's a difference.

I don't enjoy anything while I'm doing it. I enjoy having done things, though.

It could be worse... It could be raining

Hookers have to deliver on their promise... unlike politicians.

Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient that you can't define, and it's that X ingredient between two people that make both a man and a woman good in bed. It's all relative. There are no rules.

Too old to die young, and too young to grow up.

Money can't buy poverty.