Mike Myers Quotations

And I thought, when I have kids, that's the sort of well told, silly, and fun fairy tale that I would want to take them to. But it was an amazing experience. And I think Shrek is a real classic, a fairy tale classic.

Europe is scooters. Europe is five young people on one bench sharing a chocolate bar. Their idea of entertainment and fun is so much different than ours, which is exactly why a movie about them would be funny.

The interesting thing about life is, there is what you think is going to happen, and what actually happens.

I would love to be a father. I had a great father who taught me how gratifying that is. I'm not going to deny myself that. I think I'd be good at it. Everybody wants that experience. I definitely do.

I think that Scottish people, like Canadians, are often misunderstood and what I like about my Scottish friends and relatives is how quickly it can go from love to anger. It's a great dynamic.

Canada is a country of ingredients without a cuisine; we're a country with musicians without an indigenous instrument; Toronto's a city that doesn't even have a dish named after it.

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.

Anyone who tells you fatherhood is the greatest thing that can happen to you, they are understating it.

Comedy. It was just huge in my house. Peter Sellers and Alec Guinness, Monty Python and all those James Bond movies were highly regarded.

I grew up in Toronto and as long as I can remember, as long as there was cable, even those old cable boxes that were wired to the TV, there have been Bollywood movies on Toronto TV.

I still believe that at any time the no-talent police will come and arrest me.

Canada is the essence of not being. Not English, not American, it is the mathematic of not being. And a subtle flavour - we're more like celery as a flavour.

I knew I wanted to be a father; I didn't know it was going to be this awesome or that my kid would come out so beautiful and lovely.

Dad was in the British Army and my mom was in the Royal Air Force, so both of my parents believed in discipline.

I like smart jokes, I like dumb jokes, and I like dumb jokes done smartly.

Marriage can be viewed as the waiting room for death.

I think when I have kids and grandchildren I will be very proud to have them watch this movie.

I can be described as many things, but no description of me is complete without saying 'Englishman.' My parents were from Liverpool and emigrated to Canada before I was born.

And I love Mel Brooks. My Dad loved his movies, too, they're awesome, the kind of thing that if you're in for ten minutes, you're in for two hours.

Austin sounds a little bit like Aston Martin, which is the type of car James Bond would drive.

I do miss Saturday Night Live, that's for sure. There's nothing like it. I just hosted, and I felt I'd only been away for a week.

I had done Shrek as a Canadian and I'm very proud to be Canadian, but I knew I could give more to it.

I'm a comedic actor, not to mix words, but it's something I think about. A comedic actor. I like to think that Christopher Guest, Phil Hartman, Peter Sellers and Alec Guinness are comedic actors. And Dan Aykroyd, too. Those are my heroes.

Dad loved movies, and I grew up with British comedy. My ultimate favourite is Peter Sellers.

I play the ukulele. I have a great group of friends, and we do things like have battles of the bands - me sometimes on ukulele, but mostly on drums.

We're expecting a lot better sales due to the large freshman class. Also, we are looking forward to the football season when things cool down and we get into 'pizza weather,'

Verne's all about what you can do versus what you can't do. He just kept saying yes and his part kept growing. I would love to work with him in every movie.

When you're writing these things, you're in a room making each other laugh, you really have very little sense of political correctness or incorrectness. This is a question that Europe tends to ask and America doesn't.

Shooting this one was kind of like a two month party, we would literally play music between takes, and other movies that were shooting on our lot would play hookey, come over and hang out and stuff. We had a great time.

My father and mother emigrated to Canada in 1958, but there's nobody more English than an Englishman who no longer lives in England, and our home was a shrine to all things English.

On my death bed, I'm not going to say, 'God I wish I did more movies.' I'm perfectly happy I was present for the ones I did.

We've been trying to price things at roughly half the market value.

I was well indulged as a child by my relentlessly self-improving, working class parents to express myself.

My parents would read those books to me as well but they used to make me starving when I was a kid because they were always eating ham sandwiches with the crusts off and drinking ginger beer.

My parents taught me to do whatever makes you happy - follow your bliss. That's why I don't make a lot of movies. I'm very meat and potatoes when it comes to work, putting in eight hours each day. I only do what I love.

I write everything I do. On the average, it takes you about sixty months from the first molecule of an idea to it being in front of an audience. I'm actually somebody that creates their own stuff.

Welcome Terry to the world of home ownership. Welcome to the world of mortgage payments and real estate taxes.

We've not prepared well this week and it's cause to pause. I'm afraid my guys don't understand the pain and frustration that comes with being embarrassed by your rival.

Tonight I had to cover Leach and I take that as a challenge. Our defense played well tonight. The guys are quick and make great touches.

You don't win unless you have the seventh and eighth inning covered with someone outside of your closer. It's nice to see middle relievers get their due.

They took almost the whole interior decor - wood for a bar top, wainscoting and even some of the pews. Someone in St. Augustine wants to put up a crab shop on A1A and they want some of that stuff for a rustic look.

There's a joy in having the molecule of an idea, then testing it in front of audiences at secret shows that people only know about the night before.

The message of the movie is to accept who you are and not to succumb to the pressure of what the media tells you is beautiful and what you should be looking like.

In 1991, my father passed away and I went on a spiritual quest. It was a light one, not too terribly deep because I'm not terribly deep, and neither was my father.

I really just love making comedies; I love doing characters.

I feel entirely grateful and appreciative of being able to make something up and do it, and I'm very grateful how well it's gone. I'm a guy from Toronto who just wanted to be an actor since he was eight so it's all kind-of crazy. Shrek has been wonderfully successful, it did really well in the States, and so it's magical to me, still. I'm still that kid from Toronto.

I like my privacy. I love being a part of [films], but when I'm not doing stuff, I like to go away. I enjoy being a person, a great deal.

Very good training to just be a person is growing up in Canada. People say a lot of things about Canada, like that it's boring, but if you look around the world, you can praise boring. It's a very civilized place to grow up. I'm very proud of it.

I love New York City. I love that I get to live there and I love everything about it.

At every point I wished that I was born English. They need to make it colder in here. You could hang meat in this room. But, yeah...I grew up in a very English household. My folks were from Liverpool. I've said this before, but there is nothing more English than an Englishman that no longer lives in England.

It is much more easy for a Spanish person to love themselves than a Canadian person.

Most comedians want to be the architect of their own embarrassment. They have horrible self-esteem issues. I would rather push myself into the mud. I don't want to be pushed into the mud. I think that is probably true. I think most people struggle with self-acceptance. But comedians get a chance to self externalize.

I've been involved with Shrek for eleven years, so you'd better like Shrek if you're going to be involved with it for eleven years. I do, I like it a great deal, so I enjoy it.

I think that there are a lot of great studio people but the fewer voices in my head when I'm getting out a draft, the better. I just get it out and then I'll listen to all manner of good ideas. And that's what happens, too, when I'm touring and doing a character on stage.

I've wanted to be an actor since I was eight years old and I did TV commercials when I was a kid. When I was eleven Saturday Night Live came on and I thought, "Oh God, I'd love to do that." I saw the Pink Panther movies and thought, "God, I'd love to have a comedy series; I'd love to have a character I'd created that becomes a series." I've now pretty-much done everything I've wanted to do since I was eight years old and it's a wonderful feeling, I've got to say.

The peanut is neither a pea nor a nut. Discuss.

I'm bigger than you! I'm higher on the food chain - get in my belly!

My father was a very funny man, and one of my strongest recollections is hearing him laugh. He didn't like people who had no sense of humour.

Once I turned 35, I got the bonus of some wisdom and began to accept life on its own terms.

I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.

I came out wanting to be an actor. From my first view of the world, that's what I wanted to be. I'm made of 99 percent ham and 1 percent water. I was just cooked that way!

This crazy thing called love...

I've been frozen for 30 years. I've got to see if my bits and pieces are still working.

Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots?

While it is nice to be discovered, it's much better to discover yourself.

If I went by all the rejection I've had in my career, I should have given up a long time ago.

When I graduated from high school, I got accepted to York University, Fine Arts film program.

My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration.

People ask me to record their answering machines all the time. I love it. It's a miracle to me that people want to hear back those characters.

I love making comedy. I never stopped loving it. I will continue to love it and I can't believe that I get to do it.

My Dad was from Liverpool, and he picked it up in the army. He'd often come out with this stuff.

My dad sold encyclopedias and my mom worked in a factory office.

I loved the logistical reality of a guy who wants to take over the world, yet who has a family too.

Dr. Evil got shortchanged in the first one. The family dynamic between Scott and Dr. Evil - the adventures of being an evil single parent - needed to be explored.

So they ended up turning this little twenty eight page book into the movie. And it's all about this stinky, smelly ogre who doesn't care what anybody thinks of him.

Everywhere I go, people come up to me on the street and ask me if there’s going to be another one!

I'm basically a sexless geek. Look at me, I have pasty-white skin, I have acne scars and I'm five-foot-nothing. Does that sound like a real sexual dynamo to you?

And I loved the whole idea behind the story, which is that you're beautiful, so don't let other people tell you that you're not just because you don't look like the people in magazines. Or because you're not that weird ideal body image that's out there right now.

Here's the plan: we get the warhead and we hold the world ransom for… one million dollars!

Oh, you know, driving around, coming to a stop sign and an entire family, from 8 to 80, will be looking at me with that Dr. Evil look - pinkie on the mouth.

The Holy Roman Empire was neither holy nor Roman nor an empire. Discuss.

Justin Timberlake is the single most talented human being I've ever met in my life, and it sickens me. He is, like, 12 years old or something! He has 0 percent body fat, he is musically gifted, he has a great ear for accents, and he is hilarious.

Europe is weird songs that would never make it in America.

I had a blast, but I still wonder sometimes why they saw me as the perfect guy for this strange character.

For me, everything definitely comes from music.

Europe to me is young people trying to appear middle-aged and middle-aged people trying to appear young.

I'm from Toronto. It's a lot more laid back. When you are thrust into different environments, there is an odd adaptation period. And then there are times when unfair, unkind, untrue things are written about you. That bothers me less now.

Comedy and sausages are the two things that if you know how they're made they affect the appetite.

With fame there is a crosswire between intensity and intimacy. You have decoy intimacy, but you are also very much alone.

I love making stuff. There's a joy in having the first molecule of an idea, then testing it in front of audiences at secret shows that people only know about the day before. I videotape those, study them, enjoy being in the character and figuring out the movie.

Well, I like how people talk. I like language. You know, Linda Richman spoke in Yiddish.

Enlightenment is lightening up.

Uh oh, this guy needs coffee and croolers stat.

You can't think of risks. I have nothing to lose. You either make something that you like, or you don't, and you throw it to the universe.

My dad loved to laugh. He was very funny and very silly.

I have very happy memories of fairy tales. My mother used to take me to the library in Toronto to check out the fairy tales. And she was an actress, so she used to act out for me the different characters in all these fairy tales.

It's hard to be super full of yourself in Canada. If there was a motto of Canada, it would be, "Who do you think you are, eh?"

Everything I do is autobiographical in some way. 'Wayne's World' was me growing up in the suburbs of Toronto and listening to heavy metal, and 'Austin Powers' was every bit of British culture that my father, who passed away in 1991, had forced me to watch and taught me to love.

Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again.

Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you're 12, but every day.