Ned Beauman Quotations

Naming one thing after another cannot, logically, increase the chances of the new thing turning out like the old thing.

You are right that a man needs light like he needs bread, but a man needs a little darkness, too, if only so that he can sleep, and dream.

If I want to feel as if I'm being sucked down a fathomless gloomy tunnel for hours and hours then I have a complete set of Schopenhauer at home.

So intense was his sexual frustration that it had begun to feel like a life-threatening illness: testicular gout, libidinal gangrene.

I don't have a day job, so I read any time of day.

I read 'The Good Soldier' by Ford Madox Ford again every so often.

I started my first novel when I was 10, and have produced thousands of pages of juvenilia since.

I would love to learn how to air kiss non-awkwardly.

I'm very finicky about when I'm in the right mood to write. So most days, I find some excuse not to do anything.

The simile has to match the tone of its surroundings and has to be like a little joke. Writing a simile that isn't funny on some level is quite hard.