Richard Turner Quotations

Anytime I see someone blocking the aisle in the supermarket while talking on a phone, I want to ram that person with my shopping cart.

Grammar Checker – A software program that is not needed by those who know grammar and virtually useless for those who don’t.

Speed Limit – A sign that tells you at what speed the car that's rapidly fading from view in your rearview mirror is going; a law that provides the sole means of support for many small-town police departments.

Self-Checkout Line – The place where customers of an establishment become unpaid employees of the establishment.

Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function.

I am at a loss to figure out how to rid my e-mail of those bottom-feeders of the electronic world, the generators of spam.... If I were Emperor of the World, I would lock all the spammers in a room and force them to watch nothing but TV commercials for the rest of their miserable lives, and I would condemn the people who respond to spammers to do nothing but clean the toilets in this room.

Mudslinging - In politics, anything bad the opponent says about our candidate; in contrast, when our candidate does this, it is called 'making a good point.

We're just waiting for the new ferry terminal to open before we get started, ... We hope to have it done before the fifth anniversary of 9/11 next September. Now, we have a site and a target date.

There's going to be a very large park there, much bigger than just the waterfront walkway, ... The garden is already there, so that helps. It was the site of the evacuation center and it has a perfect view of downtown Manhattan from that site. It will honor not those who died and those who worked there, but everyone who came off that ferry that day. It's a beautiful site for a lasting memorial.

You always remain in control of that personal identity information. You get to manage it. You get to determine to whom you're willing to submit that identity information to and to whom you're not willing to submit that personal information to.