Ring Lardner Quotations

The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have.

The only real happiness a ballplayer has is when he is playing a ball game and accomplishes something he didn't think he could do.

They gave each other a smile with a future in it.

A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.

No one, ever, wrote anything as well even after one drink as he would have done with out it.

He looked at me as if I were a side dish he hadn't ordered.

An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve.

I've known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant.

Walter Mayer was a hero at a Salvation Army home fire in Cincinnati.

He give her a look that you could of poured on a waffle

Where do they get that stuff about me being a satirist? I just listen.

This story is slightly immoral, but so, I guess, are stories based on truth

There isn't anything on earth as depressing as an old sportswriter.

They (wives) are people who think when the telephone bell rings, it is against the law not to answer it

Although he is a very poor fielder, he is a very poor hitter.

Some like them hot,some like them cold. Some like them when they're not to darn old Some like them fat,some like them lean. Some like them only at sweet sixteen. Some like them dark,some like them light. Some like them in the park,late at night. Some like them fickle,some like them true, But the time I like them is when they're like you

Shut up,' he explained.

How can you write if you can't cry?