Anthony Jeselnik Guy Quotations

Im not the voice of reason; Im more the guy using these offensive topics as fodder to raise tension in a joke.

I'm actually a really nice guy, once you get to blow me.

What do they call that hat Jewish guys always wear? A Yankees cap.

I'm very arrogant and mean. I'm almost like a bad guy professional wrestler.

I like the idea of being the funny guy in the dramatic thing, playing a hit man with a weird sense of humor.

I had to break up with my last girlfriend for lying about being raped by her neighbor. But I've met her neighbor, he's a cool guy. Not like her other creepy ass neighbor though...

It was important to me to be cool as a comedian. I didn't want to be a crowd-pleaser who sent out the vibe of, "I need you guys." I wanted to be so cool that the audience could leave and I would still be killing, that I didn't want to have to rely on them or need them. That really appealed to me.

When I was little, I would burn ants with a magnifying glass. But now that I'm older, I'm more of a cat guy.

I'm not the voice of reason; I'm more the guy using these offensive topics as fodder to raise tension in a joke.