Augusten Burroughs Drunk Quotations

I am prone to envy. It is one of my three default emotions, the others being greed and rage. I have also experienced compassion and generosity, but only fleetingly and usually while drunk, so I have little memory.

Everybody in recovery smokes. If you don't like smoking, don't even bother trying to get sober. Just stay drunk.

I'm grateful for a lot of things. One is not being a drunk wreck. Or losing all four limbs in some ridiculous East Village bus accident that I was so destined for.