- “I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered in a place I never have to go again.” — Unknown
- “I’ve had a wonderful life. I’ve had three wives and three children. I’ve had the same job for 30 years. I’m a very lucky man.” — Walter Matthau
- “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” — Bob Hope
- “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” — Oscar Wilde
- “I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” — Woody Allen
- “I hope my friends will remember me as someone who made them laugh. I hope they will say, ‘She made life a little more fun.’” — Unknown
- “I plan to live forever. So far, so good.” — Steven Wright
- “When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.” – Will Rogers
- “If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.” – Tallulah Bankhead
