Chris Rock Guy Quotations

Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics.

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' Need I say more?

It was way ahead of its time. It's like this black guy with a bunch of money. He's funny, and he never lost his money. He was always a great businessman. I love that show.

I'm a nerd. I'm a little guy... the last guy you'd expect in a romantic movie.

You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!

The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense.

I pride myself on being the guy who can do Def Comedy Jam and Charlie Rose. And do well on both.

We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy.

I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.

I see guys who can't make 10 percent of what I make, and yet they have four Bentleys, three houses, and four bodyguards.

Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, Hey. Do you see that ghost? And he says, What ghost?

Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the old guy in the club. You know what I'm talking about. Every club you go into, there's always some old guy. He ain't really old, just a little too old to be in the club.