Demetri Martin Firsts Quotations

I think, at first blush, the '60s always enticed me. There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it.

Usually my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first time I thought of it.

Sometimes I like to go outside without even checking the weather first.

Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.

I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word "dictionary", and it said "you're an asshole".

I don't usually fly in first class, but I fart in first class.

When I first heard the term 'training bra,' I was freaked out. I was pretty young and I said, 'Did you just say training bra? They're training their chests? I had no idea.' See some lady, her boobs are everywhere. 'What's her deal?' Those are untrained titties.