Eoin Colfer School Quotations

When I went to school, I was already reading and writing. In fact, I was offended that the other kids couldn't.

I was lucky I was never bullied at school - I had a great gang of friends.

Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression. Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case? Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor. Doctor Po: Yes? Artemis: My mother, she... Doctor Po: Your mother, yes? Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.

Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder

When you've come face-to-face with the dark side of the school yard, life doesn't hold many surprises.