George Carlin Genuine Quotations

E-I-E-I-O is actually a gross misspelling of the word farm.

Jesus was a cross-dresser.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking