George W. Bush Humor Quotations

I'm hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure.

Every nation in every region now has a decision to make. Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists.

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.

The course of this conflict is not known, yet its outcome is certain. Freedom and fear, justice and cruelty, have always been at war, and we know that God is not neutral between them.

It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas.

I have a different vision of leadership. A leadership is someone who brings people together.

Do I think faith will be an important part of being a good president? Yes, I do.

I think we ought to raise the age at which juveniles can have a gun.

Faith crosses every border and touches every heart in every nation.

We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans.

I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well.

We say to seniors, we understand how important prescription drug coverage, so prescription drugs will be an ingrinable part of the Medicare plan.

Dubya! What in Tarnation!? Why, I'll tan yer hide fer this!So, what's sex like after fifty, anyway?

It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then.

Kosovians can move back in.

The only thing I know about Slovakia is what I learned first-hand from your foreign minister, who came to Texas.

It's my first trip as president of the United States.

I don't remember debates. I don't think we spent a lot of time debating it. Maybe we did, but I don't remember.

The students at Yale came from all different backgrounds and all parts of the country. Within months, I knew many of them.

It is incredibly presumptive for somebody who has not yet earned his party's nomination to start speculating about vice presidents.

I read the newspaper.

Governor Bush will not stand for the subsidation of failure.

I hope we get to the bottom of the answer. It's what I'm interested to know.

He has certainly earned a reputation as a fantastic mayor, because the results speak for themselves. I mean, New York's a safer place for him to be.

We're certain there are people that can't stand what America stands for... We're certain there are madmen in this world, and there's terror, and there's missiles and I'm certain of this, too: I'm certain to maintain the peace, we better have a military of high morale, and I'm certain that under this administration, morale in the military is dangerously low.

This is a world that is much more uncertain than the past. In the past we were certain, we were certain it was us versus the Russians in the past. We were certain, and therefore we had huge nuclear arsenals aimed at each other to keep the peace. That's what we were certain of... You see, even though it's an uncertain world, we're certain of some things. We're certain that even though the "evil empire" may have passed, evil still remains.

There's not going to be enough people in the system to take advantage of people like me.

This case has had full analyzation and has been looked at a lot. I understand the emotionality of death penalty cases.

You might want to comment on that, Honorable.

I want you to know that farmers are not going to be secondary thoughts to a Bush administration. They will be in the forethought of our thinking.

I think he needs to stand up and say if he thought the president were wrong on policy and issues, he ought to say where.

This campaign not only hears the voices of the entrepreneurs and the farmers and the entrepreneurs, we hear the voices of those struggling to get ahead.

The point is, this is a way to help inoculate me about what has come and is coming.

I regret that a private comment I made to the vice presidential candidate made it through the public airways.

Listen, Al Gore is a very tough opponent. He is the incumbent. He represents the incumbency. And a challenger is somebody who generally comes from the pack and wins, if you're going to win. And that's where I'm coming from.

That's Washington. That's the place where you find people getting ready to jump out of the foxholes before the first shot is fired.

This is what I'm good at. I like meeting people, my fellow citizens, I like interfacing with them.

Conspiracy theories abound in American politics. I don't think we need to be subliminable about the differences between our views on prescription drugs.

I want to make it clear to people that the idea of putting subliminable messages into ads is ridiculous.

They have miscalculated me as a leader.

The woman who knew that I had dyslexia - I never interviewed her.

I am a person who recognizes the fallacy of humans.

I'm also honored to be here with the speaker of the House - just happens to be from the state of Illinois. I'd like to describe the speaker as a trustworthy man. He's the kind of fellow who says when he gives you his word he means it. Sometimes that doesn't happen all the time in the political process.

There are some monuments where the land is so widespread, they just encompass as much as possible. And the integral part of the - the precious part, so to speak - I guess all land is precious, but the part that the people uniformly would not want to spoil, will not be despoiled. But there are parts of the monument lands where we can explore without affecting the overall environment.

I assured the prime minister, my administration will work hard to lay the foundation of peace in the Middle - to work with our nations in the Middle East, give peace a chance. Secondly, I told him that our nation will not try to force peace, that we'll facilitate peace and that we will work with those responsible for a peace.

The Senate needs to leave enough money in the proposed budget to not only reduce all marginal rates, but to eliminate the death tax, so that people who build up assets are able to transfer them from one generation to the next, regardless of a person's race.

This administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end.

We must have the attitude that every child in America - regardless of where they're raised or how they're born - can learn.

Whatever it took to help Taiwan defend theirself.

Presidents, whether things are good or bad, get the blame. I understand that.

Thirdly, the explorationists are willing to only move equipment during the winter, which means they'll be on ice roads, and remove the equipment as the ice begins to melt, so that the fragile tundra is protected.

If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all.

It's important for young men and women who look at the Nebraska champs to understand that quality of life is more than just blocking shots.

So on behalf of a well-oiled unit of people who came together to serve something greater than themselves, congratulations.

Anyway, I'm so thankful, and so gracious - I'm gracious that my brother Jeb is concerned about the hemisphere as well.

I encourage employers to permit their workers time off during the lunch hour to attend the noontime services to pray for our land.

To give law enforcement the additional tools it needs to track down terror here at home.

These demands are not open to negotiation or discussion.

To date, we've arrested or otherwise dealt with many key commanders of al Qaeda... All told, more than 3,000 suspected terrorists have been arrested in many countries. Many others have met a different fate. Let's put it this way - they are no longer a problem to the United States and our friends and allies.

Please don't kill me!

Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican.

As young Americans, you have an important responsibility, which is to become good citizens.

I do remain confident in Linda. She'll make a fine labor secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly qualified.

I expect you to work hard on our agenda.

It's exciting; I don't know whether I'm going to win or not. I think I am. I do know I'm ready for the job. And, if not, that's just the way it goes.

Americans to bow our heads in humility before our Heavenly Father, a God who calls us not to judge our neighbors, but to love them, to ask His guidance upon our nation and its leaders in every level of government.

I am committed to the First Amendment principles of religious freedom, tolerance, and diversity. Whether Mormon, Methodist, Jewish, or Muslim, Americans should be able to participate in their constitutional free exercise of religion. I do not think witchcraft is a religion, and I do not think it is in any way appropriate for the U.S. military to promote it.

This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses.

We'll let our friends be the peacekeepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers.

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

Our nation must come together to unite.

Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.

What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.

I've changed my style somewhat, as you know. I'm less - I pontificate less, although it may be hard to tell it from this show. And I'm more interacting with people.

How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through?

The senator has got to understand if he's going to have - he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road.

Really proud of it. A great campaign. And I'm really pleased with the organization and the thousands of South Carolinians that worked on my behalf. And I'm very gracious and humbled.

I don't have to accept their tenants. I was trying to convince those college students to accept my tenants. And I reject any labeling me because I happened to go to the university.

The fact that he relies on facts - says things that are not factual - are going to undermine his campaign.

I've got a great sense of where I want to lead and I'm comfortable with why I'm running. And, you know, the call on that speech was, beware. This is going to be a tough campaign.

I've got a reason for running. I talk about a larger goal, which is to call upon the best of America. It's part of the renewal. It's reform and renewal. Part of the renewal is a set of high standards and to remind people that the greatness of America really does depend on neighbors helping neighbors and children finding mentors. I worry. I'm very worried about, you know, the kid who just wonders whether America is meant for him. I really worry about that.

Other Republican candidates may retort to personal attacks and negative ads.

We want our teachers to be trained so they can meet the obligations, their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there's not this kind of federal-federal cufflink.

You subscribe politics to it. I subscribe freedom to it.

Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analysis.

Well, that's going to be up to the pundits and the people to make up their mind. I'll tell you what is a president for him, for example, talking about my record in the state of Texas. I mean, he's willing to say anything in order to convince people that I haven't had a good record in Texas.

I would have my secretary of treasury be in touch with the financial centers, not only here but at home.

It's going to require numerous IRA agents.

I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort against racial profiling, which is illiterate children.

If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it.

It's one thing about insurance, that's a Washington term.

If I'm the president, we're going to have emergency-room care, we're going to have gag orders.

I don't want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system so that we can make the world more peaceful, and at the same time I want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to the level commiserate with keeping the peace.

Anyway, after we go out and work our hearts out, after you go out and help us turn out the vote, after we've convinced the good Americans to vote, and while they're at it, pull that old George W lever, if I'm the one, when I put my hand on the Bible, when I put my hand on the Bible, that day when they swear us in, when I put my hand on the Bible, I will swear to not - to uphold the laws of the land.

They said, "You know, this issue doesn't seem to resignate with the people." And I said, you know something? Whether it resignates or not doesn't matter to me, because I stand for doing what's the right thing, and what the right thing is hearing the voices of people who work.

Think about that. Two hundred and eighty-five new or expanded programs, $2 trillion more in new spending, and not one new bureaucrat to file out the forms or answer the phones?

As far as the legal hassling and wrangling and posturing in Florida, I would suggest you talk to our team in Florida led by Jim Baker.

I knew it might put him in an awkward position that we had a discussion before finality has finally happened in this presidential race.

I also have picked a secretary for Housing and Human Development. Mel Martinez from the state of Florida.

Let me put it to you this way, I am not a revengeful person.