Jack Handey Deep Quotations

Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. NOW who's asking the questions? - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)

Love is not something that you can put chains on and throw into a lake. That's called Houdini. Love is liking someone a lot. - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)

If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But ONLY if you're serious about adopting the vulture. - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)