You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.
I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.
You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.
You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
If you break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.
I'm having my house repainted and we have a piano in the corner and the painter says, Is that y'all's piano? I said, No, that's our coffee table; it just has buck teeth. Here's Your Sign.
You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.