Jeff Foxworthy Might Quotations

If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck.

If you have more fish on your wall than pictures, you might be a redneck.

If someone at Fleet Farm offers you assistance and they don't work there you might live in Wisconsin.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck

If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart.. You might be a rednneck

You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn...

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?

You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.

You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband.

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.

You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.