Jim Gaffigan Want Quotations

All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.

I just want to be known as funny.

If someone picks up one thing you've written, you want them to go, 'Wow, this is pretty good.'

I don't want to be a TV star for the sake of being on TV. I want to have a TV show that's based around my comedy.

Television's very much a writer's medium, as it probably should be, but if you're not the writer, then as the performer, you defer to that. It's just kind of how it's constructed. Is there some leeway? Yeah. But I also don't want to come across as a jerk.

I do just want to do jokes. I don't want to be a divisive figure.

I do want everyone to feel comfortable. That's why I'd like to talk to you about Jesus.

I am somebody who - my path to my faith is very kind of individual, and I don't want to be lumped into the category of those Westboro Baptists.

There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don't want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea.

Who was the first person to walk into a harbor and say, "Whatever that horrible smell is I want to eat it"

You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?

The reason I say I'm a horrible person is I don't want myself to be presented as somebody who's a great Catholic.

I don't want to get involved in the culture war. Religion's iffy.

My kids are always awake. It's they're taking shifts. 'Alright, I'll annoy 'em from midnight to . Who wants to ?'

You could say that to the pope. I want to talk to you about Jesus. He'd be like, easy, freak.

My faith is very personal. It's not something that I want to project on other people.