Mark Twain Firsts Quotations

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.

If there was two birds sitting on a fence, he would bet you which one would fly first.

Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned

It was on the 10th day of May - 1884 - that I confessed to age by mounting spectacles for the first time, and in the same hour I renewed my youth, to outward appearance, by mounting a bicycle for the first time. The spectacles stayed on.

My heart goes out to anyone who is making his first appearance before an audience of human beings.

The world doesn't owe you anything. It was here first.

What is human life? The first third a good time; the rest remembering about it.

One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one.

The first half of my life I went to school, the second half of my life I got an education.

You can't reason someone out of something that they weren't reasoned into in the first place.

First catch your Boer, then kick him.

Even popularity can be overdone. In Rome, along at first, you are full of regrets that Michelangelo died; but by and by, you only regret that you didn't see him do it.

You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.

Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.

Wherein lies a poet's claim to originality? That he invents his incidents? No. That he was present when his episodes had their birth? No. That he was first to repeat them? No. None of these things has any value. He confers on them their only originality that has any value, and that is his way of telling them.