Molly Ivins Texas Quotations

I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part, and discuss it only with consenting adults.

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented.

As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.

Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics.

Humanism is not alive and well in Texas. Different colors and types of Texans do not like one another, nor do they pretend to.

I think of Texas as the laboratory for bad government.

Texas is not a civilized place. Texans shoot one another a lot. They also knife, razor, and stomp one another to death with some frequency. And they fight in bars all the time.

Texas liberals are the camels of good news. We can cross entire deserts between oases.

no one has ever accused Texas of being in the vanguard of social progress. This is the most macho state in the U.S. of A. By lore, legend, and fact, Texas is 'hell' on women and horses.

Every two years, one of the most hotly contested elections in Texas is the poll taken among members of the capitol press corps to determine who are actually the ten stupidest members of the Legislature. Two years ago, there were thirty-seven official nominees and several write-ins.

Naturally, when it comes to voting, we in Texas are accustomed to discerning that fine hair’s-breadth worth of difference that makes one hopeless dipstick slightly less awful than the other. But it does raise the question: Why bother?

Mostly, Texas women are tough in some very fundamental ways. Not unfeminine, nor necessarily unladylike, just tough!

the more a body tries to explode all the foolish myths that have grown up about Texas by telling the truth, the more a body will wind up adding to the mythology.

Sometimes I think Texas exists as a reality check for those who might wander too far toward the precious.

In Texas, we do not hold high expectations for the [governor's] office; it's mostly been occupied by crooks, dorks and the comatose.