Phyllis Diller Night Quotations

Never refer to your wedding night as the original amateur hour.

My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.

When I go to bed at night, I've got so much grease on my body I wear snow chains to hold up my gown.

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate.

A terrible thing happened to me last night again—nothing.