Phyllis Diller People Quotations

Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.

Have you ever known anyone who bought a fruitcake for himself? Of course not. They are purchased as Christmas gifts, mostly for people you don't particularly like.

I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.

Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!

Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.