Famous Quotes & Sayings

Larry David

People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

Susan Stroman

Mel has written 10 new songs, and they're very funny. It's a year and a half away from opening on Broadway.

Billy Corgan

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Bill Shankly

A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Engvall

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

Bill Engvall

My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"

Bill Engvall

No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

Bill Engvall

I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

Justin Verlander

People in real life don't get ballplayers' humor, the way we talk in the clubhouse.

Stan Heath

Steven has a humorous side to him that you wouldn't expect. I see more of it this season. Life is more normal for him in some ways. He's opening up slowly.

Joanna Lumley

That's the staggering, humorous thing about money. If you haven't got taste, money doesn't matter: You'll always look ghastly.

Karen Leathem

I think it's sort of a trademark quality of New Orleans that people can usually find humor in the worst situations.

Greg Evans

Laugh at yourself once in a while; give yourself a break.

Ed Peterson

I think this is a legislative sense of humor the rest of us don't appreciate.

Stephen J. Cannell

I love 'Dexter.' The dark sense of humor is wonderful.

Carlos Ponce

I can't live without a sense of humor. I need to be laughing and entertained at all times.

Justin Turner

Jamaal is real a humorous and entertaining guy.

Dirk Koetter

Other than the running back, a lot of those are just names on a paper.

Becca Fitzpatrick

Stop crying. You're giving archangels everywhere a bad name." Patch to Pepper

Becca Fitzpatrick

..."Good, because I need your help." "Help is my middle name." I was pretty sure she'd already told me bad was her middle name, but I kept my opinion to myself.

Azzedine Alaia

I have been offered the highest paid contracts in the world. I refused them all. It's not my thing. I don't want to cheat people. And there are certain people I am allergic to. I even intervene when I don't like a customer; I rush in and check all the names. If I don't like them, I don't take them.

B. R. Ambedkar

Justice has always evoked ideas of Equality, of proportion of compensation. In short, Justice is another name of Liberty, Equality and Fraternity.

B. R. Ambedkar

The Hindu civilisation is a diabolical contrivance to enslave humanity. Its proper name would be infamy.

B. B. King

The crowds treat me like my last name. When I go onstage people usually stand up, I never ask them to, but they do. They stand up and they don't know how much I appreciate it.

Bill Simmons

Anytime someone calls you and identifies themselves with their full name, odds are it isn't someone you want to talk to under any circumstances.

Bill Cosby

What's your name again? That's right. I'm so glad you know your name.