Famous Quotes & Sayings

Larry David

People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

Susan Stroman

Mel has written 10 new songs, and they're very funny. It's a year and a half away from opening on Broadway.

Billy Corgan

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Bill Shankly

A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Engvall

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

Bill Engvall

My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"

Bill Engvall

No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

Bill Engvall

I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

Stan Heath

Steven has a humorous side to him that you wouldn't expect. I see more of it this season. Life is more normal for him in some ways. He's opening up slowly.

Joanna Lumley

That's the staggering, humorous thing about money. If you haven't got taste, money doesn't matter: You'll always look ghastly.

Greg Evans

Laugh at yourself once in a while; give yourself a break.

Justin Turner

Jamaal is real a humorous and entertaining guy.

John Cornyn

I think you'll probably see not only his erudition, but his sense of humor.

Charles Kingsley

If "ifs" and "ands" were pots and pans, there'd be no work for tinkers' hands

C. S. Lewis

There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.

Alan Coren

I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

Al Capone

I don't even know what street Canada is on.

Karen Zager

Relationships, career, aging, empty-nest syndrome, health and, most importantly, money issues.

Jennifer Williams

Oral health is just as important as getting a regular physical. It's not just about getting a cavity filled, it's about the overall health of the individual.

Stephen Horn

Other than New York City, these local housing authorities had no plan to warn their tenants of the potential risk to their health and safety.

Joe Battipaglia

Picking your own stocks is like trying to diagnose your health yourself.

Ron Pollack

People who need healthcare the most, those with serious health conditions, with illnesses and disabilities are going to be potentially harmed in a very significant way by this proposal.

Bill Cosby

I'm not the healthiest, but I am healthy. I'm healthy to the point where there are things that I have to eat that I don't want to eat, but I eat it because I'm enjoying staying alive.

Bidzina Ivanishvili

All the therapists would tell me was that I was the only healthy person they knew.

Carl Rogers

Neurotic behavior is quite predictable. Healthy behavior is unpredictable.

Ashley Tisdale

I love pancakes, and I actually do love healthy stuff. Like, I love gluten-free or whole-wheat pancakes. Breakfast is my favorite meal.