Famous Quotes & Sayings

Larry David

People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

Susan Stroman

Mel has written 10 new songs, and they're very funny. It's a year and a half away from opening on Broadway.

Billy Corgan

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Bill Shankly

A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Engvall

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

Bill Engvall

My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"

Bill Engvall

No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

Bill Engvall

I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

C. S. Lewis

We are not the playwright, we are not the producer, we are not even the audience. We are on the stage.

Carrie Underwood

I'm not the person in person that I am on stage.

Christy Austin

I was just sad. It's real unfortunate. Now I'm at the stage where I'm mad.

James Bailey

If it's still in the trial stage no.

Arthur Ashe

There's no better stage than the U.S. Open for me

will.i.am

I don't want to be on stage when I'm 57, talking about... 'Let's Get It Started.'

Peter Chan

We are not making a concert, this is not a stage musical,

A. Hodge

This stage has got a stinger in the tail.

Bill Burr

The first night you walk down to a comedy club, at least for me, I had my voice, and then I went on stage and I lost it.