Funny Harry Potter Quotations

Ron: Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies?

OH NO YOU DON’T, LADDIE!” Harry spun around. Professor Moody was limping down the marble staircase. His wand was out and it was pointing right at a pure white ferret, which was shivering on the stone-flagged floor, exactly where Malfoy had been standing.

George,” said Fred, “I think we’ve outgrown full-time education.” “Yeah, I’ve been feeling that way myself,” said George lightly.

You need your Inner Eye tested, if you ask me.

Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth 'It unscrews the other way.

Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother?

Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?

What are Fred and I? Next door neighbors?

What are we doing here? Has something gone wrong?” “Oh no, Ron,” came Fred’s voice, very sarcastically. “No, this is exactly where we wanted to end up.

I think I'll just go down and have some pudding and wait for it all to turn up - it always does in the end.

I thought it sounded a bit like Percy singing... maybe you've got to attack him while he's in the shower, Harry.

Anyone can speak Troll. All you have to do is point and grunt.

Of all the trees we could've hit, we had to get one that hits back.

Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe.

Well, I certainly don't," said Percy sanctimoniously. "I shudder to think what the state of my in-tray would be if I was away from work for five days." "Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce?" said Fred. "That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway!" said Percy, going very red in the face. "It was nothing personal!" "It was," Fred whispered to Harry as they got up from the table. "We sent it.

Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy-" "Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing." Percy scowled. "That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley. "Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seizing her hand too. "How really corking to see you-

Honestly, if you were any slower, you’d be going backward.

He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.

Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?

Where is Wood?" said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn't there. "Still in the showers," said Fred. "We think he's trying to drown himself.

What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so, naturally the whole school knows.

Because that's what Hermione does,' said Ron, shrugging. 'When in doubt, go to the library.

Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?

Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have.

This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this.