Joke Quotations | Page 5

I think it's already getting a lot of publicity. People (who) said before they made jokes about curling now have some respect for it. To get into the spirit of the Olympics, to see it ... , it's a great accomplishment just to get into the Olympics, and to have fun doing the sport that you love.

I was the running joke in Miami, they were cutting me and recalling me so many times. I had six or seven termination letters, and there were guys who felt so bad for me they were picking my luggage up for me and putting it in my locker each time.

She's always whistling. We joke that she should do it professionally, and she's very good at it. At times, it gets annoying. All the time in the room, she's in there whistling.

(S)ex scenes and bathroom jokes are my bread and butter.

On Anzac Day, coffee and jokes with a Turk might be the most meaningful and fair dinkum dawn service you could possibly have.

Some comics have long routines to get them in the mood - I just prefer to sit down, write out the same jokes in a different order and then have a little prayer that I won't be met by silence.

There is always something funny going on between scenes with Adam Sandler. He's always cracking jokes and yelling at people for no reason. It's pretty funny. He'll joke around during scenes, too. When he guest-starred on 'Jessie,' there was nothing in the script that he said first take.

When he did, I started laughing. To me it was like 'What? You're kidding me -- little tights and everything?' I just thought the whole thing was just a pure joke like everyone else. It's acting, it's fake, why would you have any interest in that?

My last vivid boyhood fright from books came when I was 15; I was visiting my uncle and aunt in Greenwich, and, emboldened by my success with 'The Waste Land,' I opened their copy of 'Ulysses.' The whiff of death off those remorseless, closely written pages overpowered me. So: back to soluble mysteries, and jokes that were not cosmic.

The reality is that the behavior is inappropriate, especially for a school climate. Just as if we go in an airport, it's inappropriate to joke about bombs and weapons.