Redneck Quotations | Page 3

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.

You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband.

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.

You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.

You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

Eleven on a scale of ten, honey, let me introduce you to my redneck friend.

Let me get a big 'hell yeah' from the redneck girls like me, hell yeah.

Cause I'm a redneck woman.

Elvis was, at least the times I was around him, Elvis was a practical joker. He was always, had some little mischievous something going.

Well, as an artist, I think that Elvis's generosity to me he always talked very highly about me, he always spoke very highly about my work and singing and my writing.

I think to just single out a highlight of Elvis's career is pretty much impossible. As far as being a fan of his, a lifetime fan, there were just too many highlights.

Well, I quit those days and my redneck ways.

The Pennsylvania Game Commission has charged a man with going deer hunting with a handgun in a Wal-Mart parking lot. He is being charged with reckless endangerment, but may plead guilty to the lesser charge of being a redneck.... Hunting in a Wal-Mart parking lot. That's got to be some good eating — a deer that lives on leftover Twizzlers and Mountain Dew.

I'm a redneck. And we can wear whatever because we just really don't care about those things. And when you're a redneck named Bubba, you really don't care.

I've been a radical for a long time. I guess it's too bad. I'd be more marketable as a right-wing redneck.

If I were scared of rednecks, I would've moved on a long time ago. That's not a fear I struggle with.

There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars."

I didn't have a lot of communication with Elvis. You had to go through a barricade to get to Elvis. It was people hanging on every word, and I felt very uncomfortable a lot of times.

First time I saw Elvis was at the Lubbock County fairgrounds in Lubbock, Texas. He was on the back end of a truck. There was about 1500 screaming kids.

Elvis was just like a big old kid. It was like he never got past 19, I don't think, in a lotta ways.

It's pretty amazing to me that my first hit record was an Elvis Presley record.

If it was just me and Elvis one on one, which only happened once or twice in the times that I did see him, it was a really comfortable. He was a cool guy. Easy laugh, nice guy.

I was out on the golf course, a guy came riding out in a golf cart and said, Did you know that Elvis died? And I just said, Well, there you go. It was like I had kinda been expecting it.

Reardan is the rich white farm town that sits in the wheat fields exactly 22 miles away from the Rez. And it's a hick town I suppose filled with farmers and rednecks and racists cops who stop every Indian that drives through. During one week when I was little dad got stopped three times for DWI- Driving While Indian.

Going to high school in rural Florida, we always partied down in the woods. Somebody - one of the rednecks - would leave class and mow a path out to a field, and we'd drive out there. Dude, every party I went to was lit by a bonfire. Acoustic guitar.

God, if my epic journey is ever made into a Hollywood film, please don't have an NRA redneck act as me.

It’s just what they are — they’re jokes…most jokes are about Jewish people, rednecks, black folks…I can’t determine what offends another person.

He had fallen out of the ugly tree, and hit every branch.

I wanted to come through with my own voice and, hopefully, have it affect people. I want people to know that I'm not an Elvis impersonator.

My favorite artists have always been Elvis and The Beatles and they still are!

You don't have to be a redneck to be a member of a redneck yacht club. It's a term that in the past has been a stigma or a stereotype, but songs like this and other various songs, even though they talk about the very things that people imagine rednecks doing or being, they're realizing that a redneck is more of a lifestyle than a person or a people.

I met a redneck on a Grecian isle who did the Goat Dance very well.

I'd breed a little liberal army in the wood, just like these redneck lunatics I see at the local bar with their tribe of mutant inbred piglets.

Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America.

I don’t know any redneck that’s not into fun. That’s their middle name: Red-Fun-Neck.

We're Americans. I don't consider us to be evil, I just don't think we know any better. We're a really young culture. We're hillbillies, and the rest of the world sees us that way. I travel all over the world, and probably the only worse rednecks than us are the Australians. And they're an even younger country.

The enemy of the black is not the white. The enemy of capitalist is not communist, the enemy of homosexual is not heterosexual, the enemy of Jew is not Arab, the enemy of youth is not the old, the enemy of hip is not redneck, the enemy of Chicano is not gringo and the enemy of women is not men. We all have the same enemy. The enemy is the tyranny of the dull mind. The enemy is every expert who practices technocratic manipulation, the enemy is every proponent of standardization and the enemy is every victim who is so dull and lazy and weak as to allow himself to be manipulated and standardized.

People actually were worried that I was going to get stereotyped as a monster after Freddy, but my God, I got stereotyped as white trash for years, the best friend for years, the redneck for years, the nerd for years and let me tell you...it's better to be a monster than to be a nerd.

Redneck law: Must have a gun. Must shoot it regularly.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and it holds the world together.

Most of us had never seen a sober redneck before, and we have the Reagan Landslide to testify that none of us ever wants to see one again. It was a horrifying apparition. And ever since Jimmy Carter, all of us rednecks have had to be very careful to be drunk rednecks lest we turn into some kind of awful creature with big buck teeth and a State Department full of human-rights yahoos.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Come on now! You kick out the gooks, the next thing you know, you have to kick out the chinks, the spicks, the spooks, the kikes and all that's going to be left is a couple of brain-dead rednecks.

When I left Nashville I went to Texas because that's where I came from, and because I was playing in Texas a lot in different places. And I saw hippies and rednecks drinking beer together and smoking dope together and having a good time together and I knew it was possible to get all groups of people together - long hair, short hair, no hair - and music would bring them together.