Twain Quotations

No, no, no separate but equal... never the twain shall meet. And the pendulum kept swinging and it came to rest in the bastard hybrid known as the Daily Show.

I agree with what Mark Twain said - we're all mad at night.

Mark Twain gave us an insight into the life on the Mississippi at the turn of the century.

I have never been one for musicians. I know girls are supposed to go crazy for frontmen who close their eyes when they sing and nod their heads when the drums kick in, but I'm like Shania Twain with that stuff: That don't impress me much. I'll take wit and brains over the ability to carry a tune any day.

He (Holbrook) said he has one of the first Mark Twain costumes he wore on stage and was saving it until The Smithsonian called. We said we could find a place for it until they do.

Mark Twain told jokes, but they somehow stayed funny for a hundred years; they're still funny today. When Mark Twain said, 'He was a good man in the worst sense of the word,' we know exactly what he's talking about. When he said 'Wagner's music is not as bad as it sounds,' it still is funny. Mark Twain was really a miracle.

Mark Twain said, 'The right word is to the nearly right word as lightning is to the lightning bug.' Fill your book with lightning.

I was never a bookworm. I remember reading Dr. Seuss, the Hardy Boys, Emil and the Detectives, Chip Hilton, and lots of Mark Twain and Dickens. My athletic ability did nothing but invite taunts. I was an indifferent student and an athlete with delusions of adequacy, dreams of adulation.

Well, I was in the generation of CDs, so when I moved to L.A., I think I probably brought my Shania Twain 'Come on Over' CD and that's about it.

Together they are the Melville, Hawthorne, and Twain of the 20th century,

At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual.

Tacked above my desk are photos of artists I admire - Hopper, Sargent, Twain - and postcards from beloved bookstores where I've spent all my time and money - Tattered Cover, Elliot Bay, Harvard Bookstore.

For someone who made such an enormous contribution to American literature, Mark Twain has been the subject of many books but few major biographies.

Mark Twain and I are in the same position. We have put things in such a way as to make people, who would otherwise hang us, believe that we are joking.

East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet

I told him that if we doubted that we are demons in Hell, he should read The Mysterious Stranger, which Mark Twain wrote in 1898, long before the First World War (1914-1918). In the title story he proves to his own grim satisfaction, and to mine as well, that Satan and not God created the planet earth and ""the damned human race."" If you doubt that, read your morning paper. Never mind what paper. Never mind the date.

I, Mark Twain being of sound mind, have spent everything