Andy Milonakis Quotations

I'm going to write a whole pilot and see if anyone's interested, and if not then I'll just live out the tortured life instead of showing it on TV.

Your face makes my soul want to eat chocolate pudding!...

I'm on the Internet a lot more than I watch TV and most everybody I know is, and yet if you watch most late-night talk shows, it's as if it doesn't even exist.

I'm a really huge fan of papaya juice.

There's a side that I want to do just like really retarded arty films like parody, pretentious art films that kind of are supposed to have some deep meaning.

I want to put some effort into a bunch of different types of videos. I don't think I'm gonna do 'Man On The Street' messing with people, I don't think I'm gonna do over-the-top wacky comedy.

There's not a lot of music videos that are totally, totally disturbing.

I don't know why I do what I do. I tend to go for the really weird, bizarre stuff. I actually have to tone it down for the show.

I'm a huge fan of Big L. He is my favorite rapper.

I'd think of a topic and just rant on it and transfer it to the computer, upload it. It's such a quick thing. You post it on your website and after an hour, 10 people write comments.

MF Doom is like so out-of-the-box and just crazy.

There's little kids on trains coming up to me, singing my theme song, and they can barely walk.

I'm going to do a lot of weird stuff that's not going to be like me prancing around like an insane 12-year-old. I showed everybody that side of me and I think it's time to do different stuff, even when it comes down to the type of humor. I want to do some drier, weirder stuff.

I don't want to rap about my car. How generic is that? Be creative.

I think the fans of the old-school Internet shorts were a little bit older just because it was racier material.

As young as I look, I think it will still be funny if I played a person who's kind of tortured and hates his life. Kind of like a Larry David-type thing.

I've been a hip hop head forever. So when it turned out that we were gonna start getting celebrity guests for every show, I wanted rap guys from the get-go.

When I moved here, he bought me a bed. Was that from Costco?

I talked on the phone with the Trackboyz, they did a song with Nelly and with J-Kwon, and they're interested and they have really good beats.

Pee-pees and vajay-jays, ... Mind your pees and vees.

You are just constantly cleaning stuff up; you don't get to bring out big plates of nice food. You get to take it away when it's all chewed up by some idiot.

I was a huge Internet junkie.

I just want $1 million next season, that's all I want

Big L is my favorite rapper of all time. He got killed quite a few years ago now but I think he's amazing and he kind of inspires me like his style inspires me. I don't think there's been anyone better since. I mean, Biggie Smalls is definitely on the top of the list but Big L is like the underdog, I like to give him the edge.

I'm clean and dope like heroin soap

I had sadness for breakfast.

It's ridiculous, ... Like, 'Why would he beat his shelf? Why? Why, Andrew Milonakis?' And then I say, 'Stop asking yourself questions and calling yourself Andrew Milonakis!' And I never listen.

It takes much, much longer to film a show with so many setups and so many bits. It'd be much easier to do eight long bits and that's it.

I'm actually gonna do an album soon, yeah, ... It's gonna be comedy, the lyrics are all gonna be really wacky and comedic, but we're gonna get real hip-hop producers and try to make it sound like a real hip-hop CD.

I just want $1 million next season, that's all I want,