Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey
Mark Robert "Bill" Baileyis an English comedian, musician, actor, TV and radio presenter and author. Bailey is well known for his role in Black Books and for his appearances on Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Have I Got News for You, and QI as well as his extensive stand-up work...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth13 January 1965
CityBath, England
check paying
If we're going to be paying this much, we better check to see if our premiums are adequate.
contact insurance kindly realized start wise
He very kindly let me set up so I could start communicating back to the insurance companies. The more I had contact with George, got to know him better, the more I realized this is a very wise man. He's been around a long time.
fashion marijuana clubs
Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
stupid commitment numbers
Joke number 1, I have a bit of a problem with jokes, bit of a handicap for a comedian obviously, um, I tend to bail out of the joke, I lose commitment in it, I'll give you an example: Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
long beard harps
What I'd like to do now - well, what I'd like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp.
funny humor three
Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are all unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.
animal beard stills
It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still
funny alive comedy
The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
funny self rocks
American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
funny believe humor
Relaxed Empiricism -- I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
pigs lucky concrete
I'm quite lucky, because I've got a small, decorative concrete pig.
orange laughing towns
Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.
animal fruit stealing
Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
knowing contentment
Contentment is knowing you're right