Chevy Chase Quotations

I would love to do a movie with Albert Brooks; we're so different, but I find him so funny, and I can be just as seemingly narcissistic as he comes off, the 'it's all about me' kind of thing.

With Clinton, there's no question that I would have made fun of his out-and-out lying. But he's also a good friend.

I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I will shake their hand. That kind of personal touch is all they're really seeking.

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.

Once I got married and had kids, I moved away from romantic roles, because it seemed wrong to have my 3-year-old wondering why Daddy was kissing someone else.

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish

I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having an attitude problem.

I just went into this business for laughs. I guess I don't mind being an actor so much now.

We never could have performed live for an hour and a half every week if we were doing drugs.

Live a life of grace. You'll be a better person for it, and so will your children.

What interests me is being alive and being with friends that I care about and being as creative as I can given circumstance.

I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.

I guess I look so straight and normal nobody expects me to pick my nose and fall.

I have three daughters. I wanted them to be raised where there are real seasons and where everyone their age wasn't trying to get into movies.

It took me 20 years of making movies to learn how to do it.

Most of the films I've done were ruined in the postproduction, not during filming.

My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it.

They can't make any of these talented young actors Fletch. You might as well make a movie called Chevy Chase.

The best advice I can give you about falling is to never land.

I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington.

Anyone who wants to run has to be a Jimmy Swaggart, minus the default.

I don't know if my looks will ever get any better, but my pratfalls sure won't.

You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts.

Socialism works ... [and] Cuba might prove that. I think it's conclusive that there have been areas where socialism has helped to keep people at least stabilized at a certain level.

Television doesn't make stars. It's the written media, the press, that makes stars.

Step by step, we will break this cycle of silence, poor information and stigma.

What makes a home home? Animals, and a little bit of clutter.

A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.

I learned a lot about handling fans from established stars.

Some Harvard guy said that acid would open our minds, pot wouldn't hurt us, and cocaine was benign.

All my children inherited perfect pitch.

The best comedy I ever did was when people didn't know who I was.

You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.

Fame is a very unnatural human condition. When you stop to realize that Abraham Lincoln was probably never seen by more than 400 people in a single evening, and that I can enter over 40 million homes in a single evening due to the power of television, you have to admit the situation is not normal.

How much do I owe you?

I watched every single Charlie Chaplin film.

It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if a crowd is gathering.

If you're in the White House, it's your house, and you can invite whatever friend you want.

Last good pratfall I did, I broke bones in both hands. I still feel it when people shake my hand.

The fact was, Ford kept stumbling around. I didn't want him in the White House. I wanted Carter in, and I had a forum of 20 million people watching.

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.

I am a clown, just without the painted smile.

I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.

There are very few solid family films. A lot of the writing is awful.

Let's not call physical comedy falling down and pratfalls. All humor is physical, no matter how you dish it out. It's timing, like a dancer or an athlete would have.

She is alone and we have no family there, ... She has been asking me to move to Los Angeles. I have spent months considering this. I love my patients but my daughter must come first.

Most people just want you to acknowledge that they did recognize you. Those who want an autograph or a photo is a different matter altogether.

I am just happy that I have children. I don't care what they want to do!

I am so sorry, ... I was speeding and I lost control. I will regret this for the rest of my life.

Certainly, on many occasions, as far as their mistresses, broken marriages and financial affairs are concerned, customers would confide in us,

What you're doing here is wrong. I bought a house in a country, in county and in a town that believes in freedom.

had a negative and injurious impact on the Town's Special Character, and has also contributed to the loss of trees, green space, open space, dramatic increase in storm water run-off management problems.

My office became a meeting place where people could come in and talk. One percent of my customers were a bit nutty, and that made for great interest, but frustration, as well.

You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts.

The worst thing about Saturday Night Live now is that, in the last 10 to 15 years, they've grown to some 40 writers. We had seven. And seven actors.

The wireless industry needs to think about what to do about wireless vice before government decides for us,

Any good actor has to have a good sense of humour, too; they have to be able to manipulate people.

You can't observe as much if you're observed by others.

I took a professional gamble leaving Hollywood, knowing I would be out of the loop. I'm not part of the movie world in-crowd right now.

The BlackBerry is arguably the best wireless e-mail device in the world,

In the '60s, I started acting on these little video machines with my friends. We started a comedy workshop called Channel One in the Village.

Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.

The first thing that happens is that you're overwhelmed by so much attention. It's just so unnatural. Only people who've been in that position can realize what it's like. I mean, you have to be there.