Drew Carey Quotations

Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you.

The easiest diet is, you know, eat vegetables, eat fresh food. Just a really sensible healthy diet like you read about all the time.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.

I am never out there just jogging for the heck of it. I never do that. I start to run with a goal in mind, whether it's a certain time or certain distance or a specific heart-rate goal, and then I am done.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there.

TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up, but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over. To me, that's more pure.

That's the great thing about having your friends around you. I've known these guys forever. I really enjoy their company just as people. You couldn't ask for a better work environment.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

Libertarians are essentially what the Republicans were 30 years ago. Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label.

It doesn't matter how smart you are; to audition for 'Jeopardy,' you just have to luck out and know what they're asking you that day.

I always run in the morning on an empty stomach, and I'll go through a bottle and a half of water. Then I have a protein drink or I eat egg whites.

George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So that's what I'm trying to do.

Oh, and once, when I was in the Marines, I got a perfect score on my physical fitness test.

Why is everybody afraid of going to Heaven? You want to be here with the smog and the sin and bad people and the war? Or do you want to be in Heaven, sitting next to Jesus, you know?

As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.

I am happy that I ran the half-marathon, but to me, just running and saying that I finished a race isn't enough for me. I want to run the race as best as I can. Working out for pants size isn't enough. I need a goal or a race to get back on the treadmill every day.

If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist. That was my other dream job.

The Marines gave me a really strong sense of discipline and a work ethic that kicks in at my job.

'Green Screen' was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going.

But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy.

Exercise is the main thing that helped me lose weight.

There's nothing like the energy in a small comedy club room or a small theater when it's going really well. I can see everybody's face practically in the whole room. There's no cameras in the way, and it's just me.

I've got to say that I don't see myself as some sort of political type like Alec Baldwin or Barbra Streisand. I don't want to come across like that. I'd be embarrassed if that was the way I came across.

Some people don't like competition because it makes them work harder, better.

My fans are pretty normal, they are always really nice and polite, and they don't interrupt my meals.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label.

I just try to get people to laugh - I'm not trying to change the world or anything.

Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.

I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson.

I could still eat a cheeseburger if I wanted to. I just can't have them every day.

The first Monopoly game I played with my brothers, I hated losing so much, I just had to beat them.

I love Las Vegas. I like that Las Vegas has everything. Everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas.

I work with a place in Santa Monica called Phase IV. My doctor recommended them to me when I started losing weight. They help people train for things like triathlons or biking and running races. They offer physical therapists, testing, lectures.

I've always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them.

When I play poker, I don't like losing the pot.

I was in the band when I was a kid, I played the trumpet.

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.

I was just sick of being fat, you know? You get sick of it. It just really, it's a tiring lifestyle to have.

Living in Hollywood, you can get disconnected from everybody. You can feel like you are the only one.

The people of Cleveland hate soccer. But it's my favourite thing and I follow the U.S. men's national team around when they play whenever I can.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

After all, game shows are not like working in a coal mine.

I don't have a Bluetooth thing on my ear. That bugs me.

I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.

I tried out for 'Jeopardy' once, when they came to Cleveland, but I didn't make it.

I'm down to earth; people sense that and they appreciate it.

I'm never afraid to die. I think that's the best thing that can happen to somebody is they get to move on and do something better.

I learned how to believe in myself. Learned how to set goals, you know, self help books man. I just read every single one I can get a hold of, and I still do.

I'm the kind of person that likes what I'm doing when I'm doing it.

If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist.

International soccer has been a big part of my love for the sport. I love the Men's National Team. I can say that they're my favorite sports team.

Reality shows always look for the worst people.

We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again.

What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously.

When the show's in production, we work for three weeks at a time and then take a week off.

I always thought I was going to die before I was 60.

I don't do one show and wish I was doing something else.

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.

When I thought I was retired, I wanted to travel around the world and watch soccer games.

Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event.

Being a celebrity, you always get really good seats to sporting events, but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports.

I honestly think that it automatically hurts me if I said that I supported the war in Iraq and I support the troops. That automatically kills me for getting a bunch of movies, a bunch of TV shows. People don't want to hear from me.

Hollywood people are filled with guilt: white guilt, liberal guilt, money guilt. They feel bad that they're so rich, they feel they don't work that much for all that money - and they don't, for the amount of money they make.

I actually was worried about the pounding, but I actually love running more than working out on the elliptical. Now if I get on the elliptical, I feel like I'm trapped.

I don't run outside, honestly. Sometimes I go out around my house, but mainly it's the stupid treadmill. I wish I had a better answer, but I'm very businesslike about my runs.

I don't think there's hardly a comic out there that does clean material all the way around. There's a couple of guys that are clean, but I'm not one of them.

I looked at game show hosting as the bottom of the totem pole, one step away from infomercials. I never watched them myself. However, it's been a lot of fun.

I used to go to the Cleveland Comedy Club all the time. If there was a comic I liked, I'd go see him two or three times that week. Bob Saget was one of those guys.

I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn't end up talking to anybody.

If you're wearing a Bluetooth thing and you've got that thing on your belt, you are working for somebody else. You are not the guy in charge. That's a really good social status indicator.

The hardest diet I was ever on was the one when I was fat. You can only wear fat clothes, you don't feel good, your sex life gets damaged, you don't have energy for anything. It's horrible.

'The Price Is Right,' it was an honor to be offered it because it's such an American institution. To be able to carry on this tradition with a show that has been on for so long, I thought it was a great opportunity for me.

There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game.

At 'Price Is Right,' people feel so safe there and loved. And if you can't jump around on 'Price is Right,' then you can't jump around anywhere, you know?

But sports photography isn't something you just pick up overnight. You can't do it once a year for fun and expect to do a good job. And I take pride in what I do.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

I don't know what people are going to think of my stand-up. If you only know me from 'The Price Is Right' and 'The Drew Carey Show,' then you might be a little bit shocked. I'm a little dirty and a little opinionated but all in fun.

I don't know, people take chances on stage. It's a big free speech zone, a comedy show. So sometimes things happen, you say things that are a little bit off the edge.

I love doing 'The Price is Right.' It's so much fun. I love meeting everybody and giving out prizes, especially when it's not my money. It's really a happy place, and everybody is all jazzed up.

TV is easier: it's all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over.

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?'

I do get the comics online I guess but it's such a pain. I'd rather just get them in the paper and read them.

I'm not against ratings per se. I think more information is always good. But I certainly don't think the government has to step in and set guidelines for how shows should be rated.

If frogs could fly - well, we'd still be in this mess, but wouldn't it be neat?

I moved from Cleveland to L.A. with a girlfriend, we broke up, and I lived out of my car for a year and a half, on the road with nothing on my mind but getting my act good enough to be on 'The Tonight Show.'

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

I never thought I was a libertarian until I picked up Reason magazine and realized I agree with everything they had printed.

There is no such thing as too much fun. People need to know it is O.K. to tell jokes and be happy.

The less government, the better

Isn't it amazing that the Germans call their city halls 'rat houses'? That's what we should call our city halls!

I think a lot of people are afraid of freedom. They want their lives to be controlled, to be put into a box... Why should someone put a limit on how much fun I can have, how much I can accomplish?

The difference between Las Vegas and Atlantic City is the difference between getting conned by a beautiful call girl and getting mugged by a crack head.

Eating crappy food isn't a reward -- it's a punishment.

For 'Power of 10,' you can look at the methodology at CBS.com, it's a company called Rasmussen Reports. We poll thousands and thousands of people for each question, a real cross section of the United States.