Ethel Merman Quotations

At one time I smoked, but in 1959 I couldn't think of anything else to give up for Lent so I stopped - and I haven't had a cigarette since.

Christmas carols always brought tears to my eyes. I also cry at weddings. I should have cried at a couple of my own.

I wouldn't change one thing about my professional life, and I make it a point not to dwell on my mistakes

Of my four marriages, the one to Bob Levitt is the only one I don't regret

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice.

Broadway has been very good to me. But then, I've been very good to broadway.

At a flea market I always head for the junk jewelry table first.

When you are in deep conflict about something, sometimes the most trivial thing can tip the scales.

Eisenhower was my war hero and the President I admire and respect most

There have been people who have tried to take advantage of me. They want to be linked to me just because I'm Ethel Merman.

I can hold a note as long as the Chase National Bank.

I'll pat myself on the back and admit I have talent. Beyond that, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time

I was born in my parents' bedroom on January 16. The World Almanac says it was 1909. I say it was 1912. But what difference does it make as long as I feel 33?

If I feel in need of sleep, I just open a book or turn on the television. Both are better than any sleeping pill.

I've never cooked. I can't do much more in the kitchen than make a cup of tea and some toast.

I don't like to read. The only things I read are gossip columns. If someone gives me a book, it had better have lots of pictures

I take a breath when I have to.

I was lucky enough to have the songs in my first show written by George and Ira Gershwin. Then Cole Porter wrote five shows for me

Legend has it that when God created me, he gave me a big distinctive voice, a lot of boldness and no heart.

As far as dramas are concerned, it's considered passe for playwrights to turn out anything the average person can understand

I wasn't straining at the bit to become a movie star any more than I had plotted to get out of vaudeville and into Broadway musicals

I'll admit - I was honored to be on the cover of Time

Mom claimed that I could carry a tune at 2 or 3 years of age. Maybe she was a little prejudiced.

Music, in the past few years... anything singable or understandable is square.

I Got Rhythm really put me on the map.

Who's happy these days?

Once I had all the attention, all I had to do was deliver

Mom and Pop were proud of my popularity, but from their point of view, show business was no way to make a living.

I am known to be able to take care of myself when I become angry. I don't mince words.

When I'm asked how to succeed in show business, I always say I haven't the foggiest

I wouldn't trust any man as far as you can throw a piano

I have plenty of invitations to go places, lots to do. If I'm not working, I go to have my hair taken care of and work at needlepoint

Cole Porter wrote Anything Goes and four more hits for me

Cole Porter had a worldwide reputation as a sophisticate and hedonist

I work as often as I want and yet I'm free as a bird

My beloved Mom and Pop always rated tops with each other, and that's the way it will always be

I can never remember being afraid of an audience. If the audience could do better, they'd be up here on stage and I'd be out there watching them.

I've never suffered stage fright. That fascinates people.

I remember Tallulah (Bankhead) telling of going into a public ladies' room and discovering there was no toilet tissue. She looked underneath the booth and said to the lady in the next stall, 'I beg your pardon, do you happen to have any toilet tissue in there?' The lady said no. So Tallulah said, 'Well, then, dahling, do you have two fives for a ten?'

[Cole Porter] sang like a hinge.

Be yourself -- it's the one thing you can do better than anyone else.

I attend surprisingly few shows. The type of theater that is popular today just doesn't appeal to me.

In my case, things have pretty much been handed to me

I preferred delivering my performance in person. I liked to be in control. You couldn't be in films.

I have been ambitious to be a somebody from the time I was 5 years old

My career at Warner Brothers consisted of one musical short subject. I was running around in a bear skin. Very chic.

The slapdash way producers used to assemble a show seems a little unbelievable when we talk about them now

You'll never prove you're too good for a job by not doing your best.

Everything's coming up roses - for me.

My father taught me to read music and play the piano-but not well, even though people have said that I'm a natural musician

Now what kind of an attitude is that, 'These things happen?' They only happen because this whole country is just full of people who, when these things happen, they just say, 'These things happen,' and that's why they happen! We gotta have control of what happens to us.

I mentioned that I was thinking of getting out of the business after Call Me Madam. I thought maybe I should become a homebody.

There's such a thing as theater discipline. One player doesn't appropriate another's inventions

I've made a wonderful living playing that theatrical character - the professional brassy dame

Any audience that gets a laugh out of me gets it while I'm facing them