Helen Rowland Quotations

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.

Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart.

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.

Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little 'personal characteristics.'

It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing.

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

The hardest task in a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age.

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.

There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.

And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.

Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.

A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her.

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.

A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.

A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.

What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.

In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?

There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them.

Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.

It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son - and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.

A fool and her money are soon courted.

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.

When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are 'made in America.'

No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.

When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last.

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.

A man's heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant.

After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.

What a man calls his ''conscience'' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.

When you see a married couple coming down the street, the one who is two or three steps ahead is the one that's mad.

There are two kinds of men -- dead and deadly.

Love, like a chicken salad a restaurant has, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

One man's folly is often another man's wife.

There aren't any embarrassing questions - only embarrassing answers.

Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst of the bargain.

When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.

Who seeks to please all men each way, and not himself offend, he may begin his work today, but God knows where he'll end

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning, but to a man it is the beginning of the end.

When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one.

When a girl marries she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them

A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

A man's ""ideal woman"" is usually the one whom he passes with a worshipful bow-when he is on his way to call on the other kind

A bachelor has to have inspiration for making love to a woman, a married man needs only an excuse

The feminine vanity case is the grave of masculine illusions.

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.

Call the bald man, ''Boy;'' make the sage thy toy; greet the youth with solemn face; praise the fat man for his grace.

Before marriage, a man will lay down his life for you; after marriage he won't even lay down his newspaper.

Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it.

For one man's chin is as rough as another's, and one man's lies are as smooth as another's

The honeymoon is not actually over until we cease to stifle our yawns

The follies which a man regrets most in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

For repeating themselves from the first kiss to the last sigh, the average man's love affairs have History blushing with envy.

Going through life without love is like going through a good dinner without an appetite -- everything seems so flat and tasteless.

A man's ideal woman is the one he couldn't get.

Eternity: The interval between the time when a woman discovers that a man is in love with her and the time when he finds it out himself and tells her about it.

A woman flees from temptation, but a man just crawls away from it in the cheerful hope that it may overtake him.

The dollar sign is the only sign in which the modern man appears to have any real faith.

Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.

Nothing annoys a man as to hear a woman promising to love him "forever" when he merely wanted her to love him for a few weeks.

Flattery is like wine, which exhilarates a man for a moment, but usually ends by going to his head and making him act foolishly.

Alas, why will a man spend months trying to hand over his liberty to a woman--and the rest of his life trying to get it back again?

A man may talk inspiringly to a woman about love in the abstract--but the look in his eyes is always perfectly concrete.

A man always mistakes a woman's clinging devotion for weakness, until he discovers that it requires the strength of Samson, the patience of Job, and the finesse of Solomon to untwine it.

A bachelor has to have an inspiration for making love to a woman--a married man needs only an excuse.

Love is woman's eternal spring and man's eternal fall. It is a game at which men must play against stacked cards, and without the slightest inkling of the trump.

Nobody is quite so blase and sophisticated as a boy of nineteen who is just recovering from a baby grand passion