Ian Holloway Quotations

We are all going to walk across a pit of coals and someone will teach us how to do it. I hope they will because I can't even walk on hot sand. It's all about training you to be a better person. Mastering your mind and focusing on the right things are important skills to have. There are millions of people who can kick a ball around but only a few can do it under pressure. You have to block out everything and focus on the game.

We're 5-0 down with a minute to go on this one.

When their man was sent off, it seemed to wake up the crowd and give them someone to get their teeth into and fortunately for us that was the referee,

Right now, everything is going wrong for me - if I fell in a barrel of boobs, I'd come out sucking my thumb!

But after meeting with the board I'm delighted. I had 10 questions for them and they answered with what I wanted to hear. This club is heading in the right direction.

He's come to our notice. I will be seeing him in the next couple of days.

He looks a very good player. The lad was neat and tidy and worked his socks off. Now I've got to think about the state of my club and whether we've got the finance and what we can do.

We've got to learn to shut up shop like they did and I hope that we can defend like that when we go to Wolves,

He's always had a short fuse and I was going to try and cure him. He's slightly damaged goods, but I think he could be brilliant if I sort him out.

He's been my rock, he's been my gel for the last few years. He's got a great future ahead of him, but what he's got to do is stop speculation getting to him.

Kevin Gallen has been missing and Marc Nygaard has been in and out of the side.

Whoever picks up this baton has to be able to carry it forward,

We played him in a match situation and he really impressed me. We have signed him to the end of the season so we can have a good look at him.

We need to learn to dig out results like this and I also want us to work on our away form.

When you see the coals, your first reaction is to think 'my God, that's going to burn me', ... If someone can teach you how to put that out of your mind, how can that fail to make you a better footballer? You may not be able to walk afterwards, which is a risk, but it's one we're willing to take. You have to stop thinking about your family or anything else that is going on outside the game. You can get better at it and the more experience you get the easier it becomes.

When my mum was running our house, when I was a kid, all the money was put into tins. She knew what was in every tin and I know how much I've got in my tin - that's the way we'll run this club.

To the people who booed - boo to you!

With everyone else I've got in midfield, I don't think Marcus will be patient enough.

It's very difficult to bring in players with the current rules and even if you want to bring in a loan you often have to pay loan fees.

Their absence meant I had to scrub out all the work we had done - on the day of the game. So Monday wasn't the easiest day of my life. Our lack of strength in depth hurt us.

If you lose at home, twice in a row, it's not a nice feeling and we're not used to that.

I reckon the ball was travelling at 400mph, and I bet it burned the keeper's eyebrows off.

In the second half we got behind them and looked much better,

I've got four women in my house - my wife and my three daughters - and I tell you what, it's pretty scary. I keep my head down and if we're out shopping I try and look in a man's shop while they make their minds up.

I feel like I've been on EastEnders all my life and now I'm playing King Lear.

I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season!

I feel like a steaming cow-pat - or a car that's clocked up 400,000 miles in one journey.

You never count your chickens before they hatch. I used to keep parakeets and I never counted every egg thinking I would get all eight birds. You just hoped they came out of the nest box looking all right. I'm like a swan at the moment. I look fine on top of the water but under the water my little legs are going mad.

Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings.

It's all very well having a great pianist playing but it's no good if you haven't got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play.

He's going to be what?! Oh for God's sake. Sir David Beckham? You're having a laugh. He's just a good footballer with a famous bird.

If I fell into a barrel of boobs, I'd come out sucking my thumb

Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you hit the moon.

Sepp Blatter and all of them lot Mr Platini I know he was a good player but he aint very good at what he does, I don’t think. I think he’s useless you can quote me on that.

If you're a burglar, it's no good waiting about outside somebody's house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don't advocate that obviously, it's just an analogy.

Apparently it’s my fault that the Titanic sank.

I am more than happy at Blackpool and I am afraid the chairman will need a hell of a tub of cream to get rid of me - I'm like a bad rash and not easily curable.

In football you need to have everything in your cake mix to make the cake taste right. One little bit of ingredient that Tony Pulis uses in his cake gets talked about all the time is Rory's throw. Call that cinnamon and he's got a cinnamon flavoured cake.

It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake.

I love Blackpool. We're very similar. We both look better in the dark.

The dietician is going to get rid of that when he comes in. Although, first, we've got to get a dietician.

My ceiling's broken, my car's got a puncture and we've just lost two matches. But I've got my health and I'll ask the big man upstairs why he didn't give us a point.

Roy Keane's like a shark. He has those eyes. You don't know if he is going to buy you a drink or eat you.

This club needs an impetus of energy - but I just feel tired to be honest. I'm worn out.

There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth.

You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.

I might be in a bit of a Skoda garage rather than a Mercedes garage, but I am telling you some old bangers don't half polish up great.

My old trainer used to tell us not to blast, but to caress the ball whenever we took possession. If the ball were a woman... she would be spending all night with Berbatov.

My wife runs the house much better than I could so I think she could be a linesman or a referee or even a football manager and that's the truth.

Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark.

I watched Arsenal in the Champions League the other week playing some of the best football I've ever seen and yet they couldn't have scored in a brothel with two grand in their pockets!

I don’t see the problem with footballers taking their shirts off after scoring a goal? They enjoy it and the young ladies enjoy it too. I suppose that's one of the main reasons women come to football games, to see the young men take their shirts off. Of course they’d have to go and watch another game because my lads are as ugly as sin.

Managing a league club is like making love to a mermaid... you should always be aiming for a top half finish

To put it in gentleman's terms, if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, you've done what you set out to do. We didn't look our best today but we pulled. Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks she's not. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let's have coffee.

I feel a bit like the nanny who is trying to calm down the kids,

The last few weeks have been an absolute bloody nightmare,