Jerome K. Jerome Quotations | Page 2

That is just the way with Memory; nothing that she brings to us is complete. She is a willful child; all her toys are broken. I remember tumbling into a huge dust-hole when a very small boy, but I have not the faintest recollection of ever getting out again; and if memory were all we had to trust to, I should be compelled to believe I was there still.

We drink [to] one another's health and spoil our own.

Fox-terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs.

Splendid cheeses they were, ripe and mellow, and with a two hundred horse-power scent about them that might have been warranted to carry three miles, and knock a man over at two hundred yards.

The world must be rather a rough place for clever people. Ordinary folk dislike them, and as for themselves, they hate each other most cordially.

But who wants to be foretold the weather? It is bad enough when it comes, without our having the misery of knowing about it beforehand.

I want a house that has got over all its troubles; I don't want to spend the rest of my life bringing up a young and inexperienced house.

He is very imprudent, a dog; he never makes it his business to inquire whether you are in the right or the wrong, never asks whether you are rich or poor, silly or wise, sinner or saint. You are his pal. That is enough for him.

After a cup of tea (two spoonsful for each cup, and don't let it stand more than three minutes,) it says to the brain, "Now, rise, and show your strength. Be eloquent, and deep, and tender; see, with a clear eye, into Nature and into life; spread your white wings of quivering thought, and soar, a god-like spirit, over the whirling world beneath you, up through long lanes of flaming stars to the gates of eternity!

Being poor is a mere trifle. It is being known to be poor that is the sting.

I don't know why it should be, I am sure; but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me.

Life is a thing to be lived, not spent; to be faced, not ordered. Life is not a game of chess, the victory to the most knowing; it is a game of cards, one's hand by skill to be made the best of.

Life will always remain a gamble, with prizes sometimes for the imprudent, and blanks so often to the wise.

I should never make anything of a fisherman. I had not got sufficient imagination

Idling has always been my strong point.

Life works upon a compensating balance, and the happiness we gain in one direction we lose in another.

It is well we cannot see into the future. There are few boys of fourteen who would not feel ashamed of themselves at forty.

There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do. Wasting time is merely an occupation then, and a most exhausting one.

There is no more thrilling sensation I know of than sailing. It comes as near to flying as man has got to yet - except in dreams.

There may be a better land where bicycle saddles are made of rainbow, stuffed with cloud; in this world the simplest thing is to get used to something hard.

The advantage of literature over life is that its characters are clearly defined, and act consistently.

A glass of wine often makes me a better man than hearing a sermon.

It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs. We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so. It dictates to us our emotions, our passions.

Eat good dinners and drink good wine; read good novels if you have the leisure and see good plays; fall in love, if there is no reason why you should not fall in love; but do not pore over influenza statistics.

We must not think of the things we could do with, but only of the things that we can't do without.

They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.

If there is one person I do despise more than another, it is the man who does not think exactly the same on all topics as I do...

It seems to me so shocking to see the precious hours of a man's life - the priceless moments that will never come back to him again - being wasted in a mere brutish sleep.

Opportunities flit by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone.

Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing.

A good woman's arms round a man's neck is a lifebelt thrown out to him from heaven.

I respect the truth too much to drag it out on every occasion.